Life Venture.

After series of self reflection in my unoccupied two months period, I have mentally planned how my life will go in the next five years. I might not be able to accomplish all of them, heck I might not even be able to accomplish any of them depending on where I will be sent soon, but those things that are in my hypothetical list are the things that I am determined to at least go through the process of attempting to complete. Those aims that I have set can be educational, personally satisfactory, personally developing and even spiritual. I went through roughly one by one what I would like to do in order to discover my full potential, or if you wish, you can call it 'soul searching'. All of these require me to focus whole-ly on my self, and a little bit on the people around me.

After putting every objective into a systematic order, I realised something. Five years is not a long period. In fact, it is quite amazingly exhausting thinking about these aims, let alone doing it. Yet, I noticed that one aspect is missing: I did not put any element of 'romanticism' in my planning. I was busy thinking about other things that I left out this one thing, one aspect that has apparently occupied a major part in the majority of people's life.

After thinking this for a couple of times, I have made a decision. Some of you might say that my decision is made simply because no one has come to my life yet, or it can even give the impression of 'arrogance', but I have decided that in the process of me chasing a lot of things in my life, there is no way that I can fit in another person in my life at the moment. There is nearly no way for me to add another priority, another commitment into my already hectic list. I am barely grasping the changes that I am going and will be going through in my life, therefore there is no way that I will be able to manage another person's life as well. It will be too taxing, and I think that I cannot and do not want to go through the hassle.

However, I do realise that as meticulously done as my plan can be, only time will tell. And if the time for me to accept that 'commitment' comes earlier than I have planned, then I'll accept it. The same way I accept any other of my fate: with grace. In God's will, of course.