Random stacks of loud melody.

She's a rebel, going against the norm.

2011-12-14T21:46:00.004+11:00

Sekarang ni semua orang jump into the marriage bandwagon.
But not me bruh.

Getting married now is too mainstream for me. Hahahahaha.
Haha.

Ha.

RAR RAR RAR

2011-12-14T01:44:00.002+11:00

Serge you hot piece of ass.

I don't give a damn about my reputation Oh no..Not me.

2011-12-13T02:58:00.006+11:00

When I was much younger, I was always fascinated about people and their opinion. I still could not form one on my own, so I tend to look for what other people think of a topic that so suddenly occurred my mind. The first person that I would go to is my dad. I looked up to him so much that I don't think he'll ever get anything wrong. However, there are times when I would purposely look for other answers to see that whether other people think the way my ever-so-brilliant father did. Of course, I would look for sources that I deemed reliable that come from some respectable intelligent people. Strangely enough, almost always, these people, who are not related in any way, either with my father or even with each other, would express similar answers.

This puzzles me every time.

How the hell do these people manage have the same opinion on this matter? My friends and I don't share the same opinion. We always fight to see who's got the right answer. There is no way that everyone can get the same right answer. It doesn't make sense. How did these smart people suddenly decide that they agree with this view when there are few different options? Are these people in a secret society that discusses every issue there is in this world together? Do they go to a meeting and discuss this matter and reach a conclusion? When is the meeting held? Or does the whole world subscribe to one same magazine that provides all these opinions? Who controls this magazine? Who decides that this particular answer is the only one that should be accepted for that particular question? Who comes out with all these questions to be answered because it seems like all the things that bother me has been answered because everyone that I ask all these questions to has the answer and all the answers are always, ALWAYS the same. How? HOW??

As you can see, this thought always drove me crazy and I always wondered about this every time I have a question answered. And that happened a lot.

As I grew older, obviously, I started figuring out why people have the same opinion. It is a mixture of discovery both through experience and researches and also some common sense. Those people that I got the answers from, the ones who usually share similar opinions, have one thing in common: they are intelligent people. I later on found out that opinions are formed based on what kind of person you are. I discovered different opinions and views later on in life when I mixed with different people. So same kind of people share similar values and opinions on many different matters.

So, with that long ass writing that I've got up there (which is only to point out something apparently very obvious,nothing new, unintriguing, boring, straight up no-shit-Sherlock material), one might wonder where am I going with this.

Well, actually, last two years (Reader(yeah singular without 's' cause most probably there'll only be one person who'll get to this point of this post): Oh come on not another story! Get to the fucking point already! Me: Okay I promise this is the last one, seriously, just bear with me okay?) , I had a fight with someone whom I'm very close with. I claimed that you can tell what kind of a person someone is by looking who that person surrounds herself or himself with. In other words, our friends reflect who we are. She disagreed with me and insisted that that claim is misguided and is made without basis. I'm not sure why, but that was the first time that I witnessed her really standing her ground and fought me. Although I was very stubbornly insisting upon my opinion at that time, I was later on in doubt if it was as true as I thought it would be. I reflected on myself and the people around me. I looked at how friendship is formed and how it is broken.

Fast forward three years later to where I am now, I still truly believe what I said was true. Friends, especially close friends, stay friends with each other not only because they can tolerate each other, but mainly because they act in a certain similar way, have similar opinions where it matters and most importantly, share the same value. What happens when they no longer share the same value or have similar opinions? The friendship breaks and they grow apart. Even different religious beliefs somehow have similar opinion on this matter. In an authentic hadith, The Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. has said that a person is likely to folloe the faith of his friend, so look whom you befriend". Meanwhile, in the Bible, it is stated that "He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm. (Proverbs 13:20). The gist is very simple: who you are or will become is determined by who you are friends with.

Maybe some of us know some horrible people that we are apparently close with but do not want to identify ourselves with, but we should try to look closely. There's a strong reason why we are friends with that person, and it's not toleration because toleration alone is not enough to bond two friends together.

As for me, I am happy enough with the people that I surround myself with. Whenever I look at the friends that I keep in close proximity, I am glad to see the reflection. If anything, we have reached to the point of having a very creepily close friendship that might sometimes drive people away haha. But that's okay because as long as we have each other, we don't really mind about those people that we have driven away.

Anywaaaaaaay(let's move away from cheesy disgusting mood cause we are all very tough manly people with the fear of getting in touch with our own feelings), what triggered this thought of mine is the 90's TV series (James Franco, Jason Siegel and Seth Rogen all crammed into one show ohmygodsomanyawesomepeopleletmesqueezeinbetweenthemsaywhat) Freaks and Geeks. Lindsay, who used to be a geek, suddenly befriended the freaks and that changed her whole life. If you've never heard of it or haven't watched it, do. Good stuff.

(song by Joan Jett and The Blackhearts - Bad Reputation)

Most Verbose Vendetta

2011-11-25T22:00:00.001+11:00

“Good evening, London. Allow me first to apologize for this interruption. I do, like many of you, appreciate the comforts of every day routine- the security of the familiar, the tranquility of repetition. I enjoy them as much as any bloke. But in the spirit of commemoration, thereby those important events of the past usually associated with someone’s death or the end of some awful bloody struggle, a celebration of a nice holiday, I thought we could mark this November the 5th, a day that is sadly no longer remembered, by taking some time out of our daily lives to sit down and have a little chat. There are of course those who do not want us to speak. I suspect even now, orders are being shouted into telephones, and men with guns will soon be on their way. Why? Because while the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their power. Words offer the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth. And the truth is, there is something terribly wrong with this country, isn’t there? Cruelty and injustice, intolerance and oppression. And where once you had the freedom to object, to think and speak as you saw fit, you now have censors and systems of surveillance coercing your conformity and soliciting your submission. How did this happen? Who’s to blame? Well certainly there are those more responsible than others, and they will be held accountable, but again truth be told, if you’re looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror. I know why you did it. I know you were afraid. Who wouldn’t be? War, terror, disease. There were a myriad of problems which conspired to corrupt your reason and rob you of your common sense. Fear got the best of you, and in your panic you turned to the now high chancellor, Adam Sutler. He promised you order, he promised you peace, and all he demanded in return was your silent, obedient consent. Last night I sought to end that silence. Last night I destroyed the Old Bailey, to remind this country of what it has forgotten. More than four hundred years ago a great citizen wished to embed the fifth of November forever in our memory. His hope was to remind the world that fairness, justice, and freedom are more than words, they are perspectives. So if you’ve seen nothing, if the crimes of this government remain unknown to you then I would suggest you allow the fifth of November to pass unmarked. But if you see what I see, if you feel as I feel, and if you would seek as I seek, then I ask you to stand beside me one year from tonight, outside the gates of Parliament, and together we shall give them a fifth of November that shall never, ever be forgot.”

- V

WHY

2011-11-10T01:36:00.003+11:00

Why does it have to be Adam Lambert? I know he can reach high notes, but it takes more than that to glorify a Queen song! And of all the songs that they can choose from, they picked The Show Must Go On. That is one of the hardest(if not the hardest) songs out of Queen discography. He did not do the song justice and somehow it makes me very angry.

Now I must listen the original version sang by the one-of-a-kind singer. I love you Freddie. No one can replace you, and no one should ever try to.

Tyranny vs. Liberty

2011-10-31T02:19:00.014+11:00

Those who are close to me know that I'm a supporter of Julian Assange and his works on Wikileaks. I like the idea of how secret information of big corporations and powerful organizations is accessible for everyone, not just the power-that-be. It keeps the government in check and also history unaltered. However, having the ability to reveal these big secrets held and owned by powerful organisations also means that you are open to powerful threats. And what powerful organisation that has more secrets than the U.S. government? Wikileaks as a whole, and also Julian Assange as an individual, have received numerous threats from the U.S. government. Joe Biden, the current Vice President of the U.S. for example, has called Assange as a high tech terrorist and said that he should be treated as such.

Anyway, following this worrying event, Michael Moore, who is the American director and producer of Fahrenheit 9/11(the highest grossing documentary of all time), together with Tangerine Bolen under revolutiontruth.org, has come up with an idea of sending a letter to the U.S. President, Barack Obama, asking him to stop all the nonsensical threats and actions coming from his administration, and start practicing what the U.S. pontificates about and preaches so much to the outside countries: democracy and freedom of information. What is interesting about this project is that instead of sending a letter written on paper, they decided to do it in the form of a video, in which people from all over the world participate by reading the letter.

Being the bored, jobless person that I was, I decided to get involved with this project. I can't remember when exactly it took place, but the video is finally out. And I appeard twice in the video: once at the beginning and once again as the closure of the letter (hehe). Ignoring the fact that my hair looked horrible, I would like to encourage you to watch this video and pay attention on what is in the letter. Later on, if you feel that this is something that you believe in, you can sign on to this letter here.

Here's the video:

"After all, you are JUST a teacher."

2011-10-26T01:33:00.002+11:00

JUST a teacher. Heh.
I've had it with these people, talking like they have no brains to help them think. I've heard that line being uttered more than I could count, so finally I swore to myself that I will never let anyone who said that hurt me, not because I will always tell them back off, but mainly because I know for a fact that if any of these people becomes a teacher themselves, they will lick back every single ounce of words that they have spitted out of their smelly mouth.

Also, because what I've become now is the result of my own choosing. I believe I could have done hundreds of other things if I wanted to, so teaching was not my only option. But it was THE option that I have chosen.

But, when this exact line is uttered by someone who is related to you in blood, you can't help but feel the pain. And it feels like being stabbed by a salted, gritty knife.

Silly fun.

2011-10-14T01:48:00.003+11:00

One of our practicing sessions. It was raining heavily, which was kind of symbolic. Haha.
It was fun though. Make me wanna learn how to play guitar even more.

And we sang one we know

2011-10-10T01:55:00.004+11:00

People spend their whole life looking for the spark between themselves and another person. The spark that makes them feel alive, the spark that excites them. It is believed to be something that makes them want to go out and experience things. A spark that hopefully makes them brave and daring enough to take chances. To love and be loved.

I've seen people do a lot of things to look for, or to sustain, or to get back that spark. Money being spent, emotions being played, friendship being sacrificed just for the sake of the spark.
It makes me ask myself: is it worth it?
Well that's the fucking problem.
I don't really know.

If people are willing to do a lot of things for it, risking everything for this spark, it must be worth a fucking lot. However, it's just a concept. An idea that has been planted in our head. How do we know that what everyone feels is the same thing? Just because what every one feels sorta fits the description, does that mean everyone is experiencing THE spark? Does it even exist?

Say I saw a guy walking past me few seconds ago, a gorgeous handsome guy and my heart skipped a bit, is that a spark? No? Because that was such a shallow way of looking at a guy? Well how the fuck can you tell? You are not me. You do not know what I felt few seconds ago.. So what makes you think that you have the right to judge whether it's a spark or not? And because I have not experienced it before, how do I know that it was indeed a spark?
See, the need to label what one feels annoys the fuck out of me. At the same time, the inability to explain what one feel makes me feel unsettled as well.
But that is besides the point. My point is, even if it happens, how do you know that it's it?

Oh and one more thing, as it is called a spark, isn't it in its nature to last only for a split second? What happens after that then?

I used to relate Bombay to that Taxi song.

2011-08-25T04:23:00.003+10:00

This is more fun though hehe.

A writing about writing.

2011-08-24T03:54:00.005+10:00

It has been too long since I've written something worth reading. I'm not saying that I've ever been a good writer before, God no, I've always been awful when it comes to writing. But at least then I used to have something to talk about, issues to discuss and topics to throw my two cents in. Nowadays, every time I feel like I need to write about something, my mind goes blank.

What is there to write about? How do you elaborate things? What words to use? What if I become redundant? How are my thoughts different from others? You are not creative, Far. So what about you stop trying and just suck in the awesomeness that is other people's writing?

You see, I have this big fear of sounding stupid in front of people. Haha yeah, funny that that comes from someone who is loud and is always saying something that doesn't require much of use of 'ze brain' to utter. But that is when everyone is also being silly and sound stupid. Maybe I a bit more, but still, excusable. I've always shouted very loudly about my opinions. There's no stopping this high-powered voice from sounding when it is generated by the high spirited excitement of the 'so-called' opinionated mind. So when I am not able to write something worthy, it just resounds my stupidity to double the frequency.

So I gave up.

I have a few drafts sitting here in my blogspot account, but those are of either self pity or my stupid observation that has probably been voiced out by thousands of many. What level of vanity does one have to write only of those eh?

This weakness in writing, this lack of inspiration makes me feel worthless. I even consider it as a disability of mine, at least one of many. It is something that I would like to overcome, but sadly, it is just not in me. Writing is not my forte. I get jealous very easily with people who can write very concisely, very beautifully and very articulate, arranging thought by thought very systematically. It is a gift that I wish I have.

It is sad, really, as I do think that writing is the best way to pour your hearts out. There are many things that can't be said out loud. They are meant to be written and read, and kept in the readers' heart and mind. There are some messages that, if uttered, will mean differently then intended. The beauty of a love letter, for example, lies in the sacredness of it, the way we read it in our mind while listening it being uttered by the writer. Often, if the words are said out loud, they will make us cringe of the overly-romantic emotion it brings. But let's admit it: a love letter that is read discreetly, no matter how cheesy it is, will affect the one the letter meant for, so differently. It overwhelms you in the most beautiful way.

So yes, that is how powerful a writing is, and I have not even touched or mentioned about influential writings that are able to change the world. It kills me that I am not able to do it well, seeing how big of a change it can bring to a person, no matter how obsolete and temporary it is. Maybe I'm not observant enough to be able to produce words out of things I see, or maybe it is the fact that my vocabulary is very limited. Maybe, and most probably, it is the combination of both.

I'm just hoping that as time goes, as I read more and more of what the internet has to offer, and as I have more practices (though not much) writing in this humble blog of mine, I will acquire maybe a bit of the skill and cause a wave of emotion to an empty soul or trigger a thinking mind to ponder.

Dry your eyes, mate.

2011-07-20T01:50:00.004+10:00

Every day it seems like all you can see is evil. People badmouthing people, people creating stories about people, people discriminating people, people stereotyping people, people judging people, people abusing people, people torturing people, people laughing at people, people acting like they are better than people, people finding pleasure in pain inflicted to people, people taking advantage of people, people backstabbing people, people hating people.

It is ugly, the world we live in isn't it?

But if we take the time to just observe very closely sometimes, we can see the glimpse of hope in people. Even the smallest, most delicate thing can show us the beauty that we have overlooked. Things like a friend praising another friend behind her back, a mother picking up the smallest piece of chicken so that her son and daughter could have the bigger ones, a hot guy walking with the most unattractive, fat girl you have ever seen while looking all contented and happy, a cashier making a small talk while smiling during a transaction with a customer, a stranger coming up to a random girl just to tell her how lovely she looks today, a father despite coming back very late from work goes into the children's room to give them all a peck on the forehead though knowing that the children are sound asleep, a teacher sacrificing her personal time planning lessons for her students for tomorrow hoping that they can get out of the classroom with new knowledge implanted, a fruit seller giving an extra piece of fruit to his customer without charging it, an activist forking out her own money to afford her voluntary humanitarian involvement, a brother piggyback-ing his little sister who got injured while playing in the playground. All of these are done in the name of sympathy, empathy, humanity and love.

If we just take the time to look closely, we will see the beauty we have been looking for: People actually loving people.

RM210 000

2011-05-11T12:50:00.003+10:00

Is that how much your happiness and self-discovery for five years worth of? Or is it more? Honest to God I can't answer that question.

I do know, however, that as long as I do not make the change I am longing to get to, I will not be able to achieve all the goals that I have set for myself.
I'm a pig, in a cage, on antibiotics.

ps; I've deleted my previous post hoping that the message got across. Let's move on shall we?

Listen carefully.

2011-04-27T00:09:00.004+10:00

For the time being, the best advice that I can give to anyone is choose your career path wisely. Because your job will determine so much of your happiness and who you will become.
You can be an idealist in determining what you are going to do with your life, but please, be realistically idealistic.

You don't know how much I mean that.

Life Venture.

2011-01-26T03:44:00.004+11:00

After series of self reflection in my unoccupied two months period, I have mentally planned how my life will go in the next five years. I might not be able to accomplish all of them, heck I might not even be able to accomplish any of them depending on where I will be sent soon, but those things that are in my hypothetical list are the things that I am determined to at least go through the process of attempting to complete. Those aims that I have set can be educational, personally satisfactory, personally developing and even spiritual. I went through roughly one by one what I would like to do in order to discover my full potential, or if you wish, you can call it 'soul searching'. All of these require me to focus whole-ly on my self, and a little bit on the people around me.

After putting every objective into a systematic order, I realised something. Five years is not a long period. In fact, it is quite amazingly exhausting thinking about these aims, let alone doing it. Yet, I noticed that one aspect is missing: I did not put any element of 'romanticism' in my planning. I was busy thinking about other things that I left out this one thing, one aspect that has apparently occupied a major part in the majority of people's life.

After thinking this for a couple of times, I have made a decision. Some of you might say that my decision is made simply because no one has come to my life yet, or it can even give the impression of 'arrogance', but I have decided that in the process of me chasing a lot of things in my life, there is no way that I can fit in another person in my life at the moment. There is nearly no way for me to add another priority, another commitment into my already hectic list. I am barely grasping the changes that I am going and will be going through in my life, therefore there is no way that I will be able to manage another person's life as well. It will be too taxing, and I think that I cannot and do not want to go through the hassle.

However, I do realise that as meticulously done as my plan can be, only time will tell. And if the time for me to accept that 'commitment' comes earlier than I have planned, then I'll accept it. The same way I accept any other of my fate: with grace. In God's will, of course.

Hey you.

2011-01-09T20:38:00.004+11:00

The downside of being either a very rich or physically attractive person is that you will never know whether people around you stick with you because they really see your inner beauty, or because they have their own agenda. That person would lead his or her life always having this question hunting their every thought.

I, on the other hand, am very lucky to know that at least 90percent of the people that surround me are people whom have overseen my bad sides by the little of my beauty, whom I can trust and love all my heart knowing that they wont let me down.

I love you people. You would certainly know who you are if you are among those 90percent.

A Gentleman Doesn't Count.

2010-12-31T20:22:00.008+11:00

Dear Julian Assange,

I know many people perceive you as a promiscuous man, having to sleep with two women within the period of one week. This has caused outrage to some women especially those extreme feminists. And the rape allegations did not work to your advantage either.

However, they have no idea how it is like being an extremely good looking 6' 2" idealist/activist badass that is not only of high intelligence and calibre, but also a person that is outspoken, pugnacious, courageous, charming and with great sense of humour. And that damn sexy baritone voice. Being all of these and more obviously attracts a LOT of women of every size, ethnicity, age and many other variation. Myself is obviously included (you like wide hips and a heart that can cradle sun you say? *seductive wink*). With all these different beauties coming to you from different angles, one would only expect that at some point, you'd have the tendency to give in.

So Mr Assange, it doesn't matter that you have slept with those two Swedish women in the same week, I forgive you.

ps; what do Anna and Sofia have to complain anyway? While others are patiently waiting in line, they got to sleep with you rather easily! Lucky bitches.

I pray for your safety wherever you are.

Love,
Far.

threetwelve

2010-12-03T03:45:00.003+11:00

Ah, you are here again, right on time. Every single time for the past few years snatching away my youth and my fun ignorance by replacing it with a heavy bag filled with this thing called responsibility. Heavier bags every time. While it's nice to have a consistency in life, I'd appreciate it if the next time you come, you bring a bit of light with you. You know, because it's always dark in here.

That'd be perfect. Thank you.

Oh christmas lights, keep shining on.

2010-12-02T15:07:00.003+11:00

This has just been released few hours ago. I cringed when I found out they're releasing a new Christmas single (mainly because I think Viva La Vida is not, how should I put this, up to my expectation). But on the first listen, boy did I fall in love. It's so tragically beautiful. Made me cry a little. It's poppy, but poppy's good for a christmas song.
Lovely. Just lovely.

Dynamite ego.

2010-12-01T05:45:00.005+11:00

I always find saying sorry to be one of the most undesirable things to do. People who know me knows that I have a high level of ego. I always thought that the way I think makes total sense and anybody else were just being ridiculous. This is may be due to the fact that most of the times, I am very careful no to do things that are bullshit and unnecessary. Therefore, "supposedly" all my actions are accounted for.

Until one day my dad told me that egoistic people are people who think highly of themselves.

It hits me hard, mainly because it's true. I refused to admit it at first. I could not possibly be that kind of person. But after I recapped all the fights that I have been through before, painfully, I accepted the fact that it was true. Since I was small, every time my mum scolded me, I would end up in my room refusing to talk to anyone until my mum comes back to me and apologise. So maybe unconsciously I thought that that's the way it should always be. I should be the receiving end of an apology. Because I'm perfect and other people are not. I have been acting like a selfish bastard all my life and put other people in difficult situations without even knowing it.

So I decided to change.

It was hard, but it was really a wonderful lesson learned. And having an ex-good friend that was a total bitch required me to apologise most of the times so let me just say that I had enough practice changing myself in the apologising area. I realised how quickly a fight is over just by saying sorry. And people do the same for me in return. I learned to be a bit more humble. It was kind of amazing having the skill to say sorry anytime it's required. It managed to change situations rather fast.

It's still hard, mind you, but having close friends who are very accepting of you makes it all worthwhile. It's important as I do think every conflict needs a closure. You'll never know whether the unsatisfied feelings will surface back one day so it's better to suck it up and do it. Because at the end of the day,
apologising does not always mean the other person is right and you are wrong. It just means that you value your relationship more than your ego. (a quotation I found on twitter).

So yes, another lesson well learned from Abah's yet another wise words.
Thanks Abah.

Don't Stop Me Now.

2010-10-06T02:02:00.005+11:00

People always told me that I speak or laugh too loud, doing things always too enthusiastically. People always scolded me when I try to shout once in a while just for the sake of it. Or maybe dance a bit randomly or sing along when my favourite song is played in any shops, or anywhere at all for that matter. People always ask me not to be too excited for things that for me are exciting, or show any strong emotions. I was once told how ridiculous my thought is of expressing feelings to people, especially when it comes to love.

I just have one question:

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH LETTING LOOSE?

Wedding Bells

2010-09-02T19:49:00.002+10:00

Coldplay's new song (eventhough you don't care):

It has been a happy day.

I'd be freaking broke if that's the case.

2010-08-09T22:25:00.004+10:00

If time can be baught, I would imagine that the situation in the time shop would be something like this:

Seller: Sir, would you like to buy time?
Buyer: Hellz yeah! 1 hour please..
Seller: That'd be blahblah dollar (according to the current price of gold cause you see, time is gold lolololzzz I'm so funneh)
Buyer: Sweeeeeet. *hands in the money*
Seller: So when do you want your 1 hour to start?
Buyer: Pronto por favor.
Seller: No problemo!

*kapoosh*

1 hour later later..

Buyer: Dude, that was only 59minutes. I asked for 1 hour ohkay!
Seller: I'm pretty damn sure I gave you 1 hour. You can't fool me foo!
Buyer: It was just 59 minutes jackass! Now I want my refund now damnit!
Seller: You see, it felt like 59 minutes cause you need 1 minute to walk in here from where you've ended your 59minutes. So 59 minutes plus 1 minute walking equals to...surprise surprise, 1 hour. BAM!
Buyer: But usually we were given that extra 1 minute for fweeeeee!
Seller: Dude, harga minyak naik. Deal with it. Seeyounexttime kthanxbai.
Buyer: *walks away* Damn you corrupted government.

3rd December.

2010-07-17T23:12:00.002+10:00

Oh Abang Villa, not only that you are one of the best football player in the world right now and a Spanish hot guy, our birthday is also on the same date.

If this is not fate, I don't know what is.

Post World Cup 2010, when my life goes back to being meaningless.

2010-07-17T00:27:00.007+10:00

Things I'd like to mention:

1) The price of fuel and other necessities have been increased today. And as all of us are well aware of it, sooner or later the price of all other things will increase as well. Like Najib said, the money they are getting from the price increment will be used for education and whatnots for the 'rakyat'. If there's anyone who think that what he said make sense, you should go through school all over again and work on being a bit smarter than you are at the moment. They are taking people's money and transfer it to something else, how is that making any difference? Congratulations Malaysia, we have all made the right choice. Enjoy the ride.

2) It always amazes me how stupid people always get the highest spot in the Malaysian system. Look at my college's administration, you'll know what I'm saying. The mentality of third-world country is very apparent you'll feel like screaming to their ears telling them that this is not the 18th century anymore, and people have all moved on to being more intelligent and open minded. And I thought my college is a rare case. But then when I went to school for observation three years ago, and when I go and work in school now everyday, there are not much difference in the system after all. The power at be will try to make everyone's life miserable just to show the whole world that they are in charge. Oh heck, look at our political system as a whole. You get the drill. The sad thing is that, the situation will never change. The idiots who are holding the power now will elect someone of their level of stupidity too to replace them. It is a cycle of idiosyncrasy that is very hard to break, unless you change the whole system.

3) Now, narrowing down closer to my personal life, I am finding everything to be jumbled up and blurry. I don't know what I am doing, I don't know if I've chosen the right path, and I'm not sure if I'll ever be good at what I'm doing. I am disorganised and messed up to be honest. It is hard to look at things in a clear perspective when your eyes are blurred out by tears on some days. I find it really easy to be disappointed with both myself and my responsibilities, and it's even easier to be demotivated. I would say that my motivation is at the lowest at the moment. Sure there are others who find it more depressing than I do right now, but I don't feel like focusing on other people now. It's me I'm worried about, and the people who will be affected with the way I'm doing things now: my students.

4) My love life is non-existent, as always. However, my mind is constantly driven to certain memories of a certain someone that I know I will never get to be with. If only, if only. Jonathan Safran Foer once said that "The only thing more painful than being an active forgetter is to be an inert rememberer." Inert rememberer is what I am. Needless to say, I'm carrying out too much frustration at a time, it's wearing me out.

5) I've been putting the song below on repeat for days. It is one of the most beautiful love songs I've ever heard, and I'd like to share it with you. Listen to the simplicity of the melody and the spot-on words, sang by a voice so soft it sounds like a whisper to my ears. Pretty much related to my number 4.

I Bloom Blaum

Darling those tired eyes
Go with me all the time
And in the dead of night
Tell me you will be mine

Where do you go to pretty babe?
Where do you go to when the night wind's away?
Well ask me so sweetly, what do I do?
And who do I sing for?
Well honey I sing about you
You

My pure source of happiness at the moment.

2010-07-12T07:44:00.004+10:00

What a fanfuckingtastic match between the Netherlands and Spain. Although it was a tight game with Spain leading only slightly, at the end of the day, the best team wins.

My support for Spain since the beginning is worth it.

Can I break down on you?

2010-06-19T17:57:00.000+10:00

I've forgotten how it is like to cry yourself to sleep.
The feeling is horrible.

Cute.

2010-06-08T20:30:00.000+10:00

A and D, why did you do this to me?

2010-06-08T02:31:00.006+10:00

There are certain things that I would like very much to erase from my memory but couldn't.
There are certain things that I've done that I wish I can undo but it's impossible.
There are certain things that I wish I can still be hopeful for but the hope is far gone.
There are certain things that I have heard of that I wish I can forget but I keep on hearing it.

I wish I can see the window half-opened, but every single time I ended up finding out that it's always half-closed.

Untuk kau, kau, dan kau yang tak berhenti-henti menuding dan ketawa. Look at what you've done.

2010-05-31T01:00:00.002+10:00

Taken from here.

I wish I'm as cool as Regine Chassagne.

2010-05-09T02:17:00.016+10:00

My top six bands that I would like to see one day:

1) Arcade Fire
I'm crazy about their music now. Any other bands that try to put in too much sound to their music will fail miserably, but never Arcade Fire. They manage to put in all those sounds but still made it as raw sounded as possible. And the band members are multi talented. They switch instruments when they play different songs, and that's why I have so much respect for this band. I'm currently crazy about Black Wave Bad Vibration. I spent my whole day today watching their live performance of this song. What an awesome husband and wife, and five other members collaboration.

2) Vampire Weekend
Thanks to Chris Martin for suggesting this. I love the originality of their songs, and they have awesome awesome videos too. I found out not long ago that Ezra used to be an English teacher. Just like what I'm gonna be in a month time. Niceeeeee.

3) The xx
Shelter. Nuff said.

4) Phoenix
Their song is so catchy omaigodzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. I would love to dance and dance and keep on dancing to their song live. That would be fun and awesome and fun and awesome.

5) Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Anyone who thinks that Karen O is not one of the hottest rockchiks now please get out of this hypothetical room (hehe). She's this weird + wicked + hot singer that I wish I can be one day but know that I'm not cool enough to(aside from Regine of course). At one point I think that I'd turn lesbian for her. Who knows. Haha. (Okay maybe not but she's HOT!) I think the song that makes me fall in love with this band is Bang. Very catchy song with straightforward lyrics. Takde cover2 ah. Haha. I even use it for my alarm clock. Works every time.

6) Radiohead. Obviously.
I've waited for this band to come to Australia for two fricking years when I was there, but they didn't. Screw you Thom! I mean, yeah I'll screw you...HARD! Haha. Anyway, In my personal ranking, this band is the second band that I would like to see most after Coldplay. Anyone who can make this dream comes true, I will love you forever. I would like to see Thom Yorke singing Exit Music very closely to the microphone while closing his eyes, and dance his crazy dance during Idioteque, I'd love to watch Jonny Greenwood rocking his guitar during Paranoid Android, I'd love to drool over Colin while he sexily play his bass at the side of the stage, and I'd love to stretch my neck cause I'm short (no shit Sherlock)just to get a glimpse of Ed drumming his precious percussions. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the perfect gig. Perfect.

But let's face it. None of these bands will ever set foot on this land.
What a bummer.I

I'm a Malay without the bullshit.

2010-04-28T03:49:00.006+10:00

Warning: This post contains lots and lots of profanity. Don't you dare say I didn't warn you.

As a Malaysian being brought up in the Malay culture, I noticed that there are a lot of crappy customs that we have to obey to. I’ve always hated all those unnecessary protocols that our culture forces us to follow. I loathe the ridiculosity of them all. It brings out the rebellious side of me which is ugly. Most of us will say those culture shapes who we are, and oh how true that is. They have slowed us. They are like this stupid bag filled with rocks: heavy, but we have to carry them regardless. Which we don’t even know the purpose of it all. All we know is that our ancestors have been carrying it all their life, and now it is now passed to us, so we should keep the legacy. In the end, no matter how hard we try to run forward, we are still slower than other people. So hell yes it shapes who we are: Slow asses.

To give you some examples, I have listed four of the Malay customs that I hate so much:

Wedding ceremony

I don’t like people wanting to see the bride and bridegroom’s room, I don’t like having cheap DJs and karaoke, I don’t like tepung tawar. Why the heck would you want to show the room that you will share with your husband to other people? So that they can imagine what it will be between the two of you? Fuck off. No way would I ever allow that to happen. Makcik-makcik kepoh, you’ve had your moments with your now-buncit husbands, and I don’t want to imagine that. Hopefully the feeling is mutual.

Leaders

My father once told me that one of the Malay customs that the Westerners will never understand is our need to treat our leaders like God. Whenever they visit our place, we will do all sorts of preparation: red carpets, special table with special covers, renovation that costs more than we can afford, buying new clothes so that we will look dashing, etc. And when they arrive, we will bow to them, everyone will be pushing each other just to shake the leader’s hands, we’ll prepare five or six usherers, we have to praise them in our speech, and we have to lit up the fireworks. Even if that person is a corrupt sonofabitch. It’s okay, they leaders, therefore, we should BOW DOWN to them. What the fuck is that for? So that we can boost their ego? So that they’ll know that you’re of lower ranking than them? For fuck’s sake, they’re just human. They poop too, you know? And let me tell you one thing, they’re in their place right now because we voted for them. If it’s not because of us, their life will not be as perfect. We are the reason they’re sitting in their office. They should treat US nicely, and they should be the ONE making sure that we are living comfortable. THEY WORK FOR US.

Branded Goods

I admit that I’m not the most ideal person to talk about saving money. I am quite a shopper myself, and I like pretty things. But at least I’m buying them because they’re pretty, not because they’re of certain brands. I don’t see the need to buy handbags which costs you more than RM1000 when you are only students. I don’t see why someone should even brag about it. What is there to be proud of? You’re spending money that you don’t have to buy a bag which mind you, is not even pretty (And that is, if you buy it yourself lah kan…kohkoh.). Just write the letter ‘C’ all over the bag, you’ll get a RM1500 Coach bag. Write two ‘Fs’ on a plain bag, and you’ll get Fendi. “Hey this very thin seethrough t-shirt has a BIG Armani Exchange written on it and it’s only RM200!.” “Oh my god, can you believe this GUESS glittery tshirt that screams ‘I’M AN ATTENTION WHORE!’ is selling for only RM150! I have to buy thissss!!!” Indeed, it is a good bargain, but for an express ticket to idiosyncrasy. Bravo to all of you, you’ve shown how little of your brain you are using, and how much you’ve let those capitalists use you. Let's see if you can still be so happy when you start working as a teacher and you don't even have money to feed your kids.

Stereotyping

“Hey you know that lady who comes back late every night? She surely is sleeping with some other married guys because you know, she’s divorced.” “Oh my god (God? Really?), she’s so uptight. She can’t even cut me some slacks. You know how unmarried women are…” “She’s from Kelantan. She must be one of these religious extremists…” Yeah, cause a divorced woman is usually a whore, and an unmarried person is a tight ass, and people coming from the same place are all the same. No difference whatsoever. Let’s not think about the husband who beats the woman which have caused the divorce, let’s not think about how the person is not married because she has to take care of her sick father that she doesn’t have time to socialize and let’s not think about individuality and how every person has different personality. No. Let’s label people to certain group so that it’s easier to talk bad about them using our big smelly mouth. And let’s ignore the fact that we are too busy talking about other people, that we don’t want to see that we belong to a group too: THE PATHETIC LOSERS.

I am lucky to be brought up in a family which do not condone to the customs if they are not relevant to the way we lead our life. I love my dad’s reply to such ridiculosity, “Abah tak layan benda-benda mengarut ni. I have better things to do.” And I thank God for having Abah as my father. He has always been the rational one in his family too. He fought for his brothers when my grandmother wanted to marry them with random girls when they’ve already had the girl of their choice (which are now my aunties). He never listened to people badmouthing other people. Yet he is still the kampung boy that he has always been. I have so much respect for my father for that. He has proven that Malays too, can keep the originality of themselves and be rational at the same time.

However, having to circle 'M' in the 'M/C/I/dan lain-lain' option, I can’t run away from the customs that I hate so much. I have to go through them all with other people: friends, collegues, relatives and so on even if it’s not in my family. Plus, as I grow old, I know that following some of the customs are necessary to blend in with the others. My family’s dignity may be depending on it. Sometimes, you have to just let some things go. People have big mouth that will not shut. As much as I want to go against the flow, I can’t ignore the fact that the badmouthing will hurt the people around me. Some things are not worth the fight. But surely I will not give in too much that I will put down the things that I believe in. For me, the most important thing is to be who you are, and fight what you stand for, without losing your ground.

After all, macam ayah saya, saya pun tak layan benda-benda mengarut ni.

Noir.

2010-03-10T23:55:00.006+11:00

Everything around and inside me is so gloomy. There's this sadness burried somewhere inside this pretentious soul, which somehow managed to just stay there untouched. There is no sign of attempts to throw it away. Maybe this spoken soul has always enjoyed being blackened like this, always hopeful because a blackened place can always be lit up by striking golden lights, whereas a lighter place will not be affected as much by the beautiful shining light in gold. It is the sadness that makes one appreciate joy and happiness, so this pathetic soul was very much counting on that.

Who the fuck is this poor thing kidding.

It has always been this bleak and gloomy, this soul. It has always been sad and sorrowful too. At this point, hope is no longer the strongest thing that holds everything together. It has been loosened up by time, and ripped off to pieces by the reddest hatred. It was painful at first, and it has become even worse because at this very moment, the soul can no longer feel a thing.

It is now paralysed.

I hope,

2010-02-07T00:10:00.003+11:00

that you're on your way.
Please try to get here as fast as you can, for it has been too long a wait.

And I'm starting to lose hope.

Tolong pergi,

2010-01-30T17:06:00.003+11:00

jauh-jauh.
Sudah penat aku untuk rasa meluat, marah, benci, dan sedih.
Sudah cukup mata aku menangis, sudah penat telinga aku mendengar suara kau mencaci, sudah lenguh mulut aku mengucap semua.
Beri aku ruang untuk bernafas, mungkin untuk kali pertama sejak bertahun lalu.
Kau sudah tidak ada dalam hidup aku, dan harapnya it goes vice versa.

Tolong, aku minta hanya untuk kau pergi.

;(

2009-12-12T03:34:00.002+11:00

Violet Clouds.

2009-12-02T03:47:00.002+11:00

Bullshit ah kau.

2009-11-30T01:42:00.003+11:00

Salah satu benda yang buat aku rasa sangaaaaatlah tak mahu balik Malaysia adalah BTN (Biro Tata Negara). Aku tak tahulah kenapa kena pergi sampai dua kali; sekali sebelum ke luar negara, sekali lagi selepas balik.

Kalau kem macam ni memang membina semangat cinta pada negara aku tak kisah sangat, but come on, who are we kidding?
If anything, kem ni bertujuan untuk membodohkan pelajar-pelajar semua.

Ambil satu situasi yang aku pernah alami sebagai contoh.
Dalam kelas, fasilitator kumpulan aku jalan kan satu aktiviti. Satu artikel surat khabar diedarkan kepada semua pelajar. Lepas tu, semua kumpulan perlu bentuk satu discussion sama ada artikel itu berat sebelah atau tidak. Hello, artikel daripada Berita Harian beb, so faham-faham lah. Jadi puaslan kumpulan aku bentangkan hujah-hujah mantap yang mengatakan artikel itu berat sebelah. Salah satu argument kuat kami adalah artikel tu hanya mengambil kenyataan dari perspektif sebelah pihak (dan tentulah pihak yang aku maksudkan adalah kerajaan) tanpa memberi peluang kepada pihak pembangkang untuk tell the other side of the story that will allow the readers to weigh the truth in the issue argued. Setelah penat kami semua bertubi-tubi memberi hujah-hujah kelas pertama kami (semangat gila ok haha), the only thing that the facilitator said was 'No, the article is not biased' and moved along with the next activity.

No? NO?!! That's the best that you can come up with after we worked our brain off trying to justify our answer??

Konon berijazah dari Universiti Al-Azhar. Konon seorang guru dan ustaz bertauliah. Give us a break. Kau ingat aku heran dengan ijazah kau yang mereput dalam frame gambar di rumah? Itupun kalau betul kau memang graduan universiti terhormat tu.

You see, that's only one bit of the whole thing that all of us had to go through during the camp. Aku paling benci bila orang layan aku macam orang bodoh yang boleh disumbat-sumbat dengan penipuan bertubi-tubi. I don't know if I can go through that again.

Like I once said, you can be stupid all you want but don't drag me along with you.

To myself, and to everyone else. But especially to myself.

2009-11-16T18:04:00.007+11:00

Do you realise that when you refuse to do certain things, you try to give your reasons for your decision?

We tell ourselves that we won't wear revealing tops because we have ugly armpits or because we have back acne.
We tell ourselves that we won't drink because it makes us lose our mind and look stupid.
We tell ourselves that we won't kiss our boyfriend because if our parents find out about it our life will be doomed.
We tell ourselves that we will not wear miniskirt because our legs are covered with cellulite.
We tell ourselves that we will not lie because we will get caught.
We tell ourselves that we will not talk behind someone's back because we pity that person.

But these reasonings my friends, we can compromise with anytime we want.

We can tell ourself 'Ah to hell with those judging eyes. I can wear whatever I want. Besides, everyone does it and it looks good on me.'
or 'I don't mind being drunk once in a while, I'll stop when I'm 35'
or 'I don't mind doing things with my boyfriend because we're overseas and our parents are not here. We will get married and do these stuffs eventually, so why not now?'
or 'She's a bitch anyway so serves her right.'

But there's this one reason that is the strongest. It can never be compromised with, or at least if we do, we know for the fact that nothing we say can make it right.

And the reason is because it is against our religion and our God.
Now I've learned that as long as we live on the basis of that, we won't stray away too far.

Painfully, I miss you

2009-11-12T02:46:00.000+11:00

Rockstars are like your perfect breakfast. And lunch. And dinner. And snacks. Okay I'll stop now. Or not.

2009-11-08T21:39:00.011+11:00

I was thinking just now..

What if there is a condom that has a jukebox connected to it with a wireless remote control, so that when we use it we can just choose a song that we would like to play. And as soon as the song starts playing, our sex partner turns into the hot band member of the band of which the song is playing.

Hello Chris Martin. Hello Matt Bellamy. Hello Thom Yorke. Hello Will Champion. Hello Dave Grohl. Hello Alex Kapranos. Oh hello again Chris Martin. Hello Julian Casablancas. Eww, Nick Jonas??! Who the hell put a fucking Jonas Brothers song in this fucking jukebox?!!! *presses the delete song button*Arghh I've lost it!! Wait a minute, is that...Oh hello there Guy Berryman! Hello Colin Greenwood.Hello Albert Hammond, Jr., Hello Brandon Flowers, Hello...er, Karen O? Oh honey you're cute but I just don't swing that way...Hello Mark Wilson, Hello the much younger version of Liam Gallagher. Hello Brandon Boyd...My my, you're HOT. Oh and hi again there, I'm glad you come back, my love Chris.

I am at your service.

Imma get me somma these.

2009-11-04T21:05:00.012+11:00

Things that I want to have before going back:

1) Coldplay Strawberry Swing single from ebay
2) Coldplay The Singles 1999-2006 Vinyl Boxset from ebay
3) Coldplay any CD single that I have not owned
4) A pair of black/blue gorgeous heels
~~5) Benefit Just Peachy face powder blush~~
6) Burjois/Napoleon Perdis pencil eyeliner
~~7) Napoleon Perdis/Burjois/Stila lipgloss~~
~~8) Target Long Dress which I've tried few days ago and fell in love with straightaway~~
9) Apple iPod Touch 8GB (murah2 sudeyh)
10) Macquarie University sweater
11) Few pairs of Jeans from Evans UK online shop
12) Few pairs of cardigan of no particular brands
13) Few pairs of cheap shoes from Rubi
~~14) MAKEPOVERTYHISTORY Tshirt~~
15) Canon Powershot SX200 IS
16) Dorothy Perkins knitted hoodie
17) ASOS Side Zip Slouch Bag

Now those are a lot, and surely I will not get most of them anyway, but putting them all in a list sorta gives me hope.

Oh and for those who are kind enough to get me a birthday present, this can be a guideline for all of you. Any questions (the sizing for example), you can ask me through Iner. Ngahaha. (so not obvious Farizah..).
Kthnxbai.

Beku.

2009-11-04T04:02:00.003+11:00

Jika ditakdir beramai itu tidak jitu,
maka aku ini biar hanya satu.

Kerana dikesekian kalinya bibir ini mengukir, mata ini melihat, tangan ini melambai,
dikesekian itulah bibir itu menjuih, mata itu menjeling, tangan itu menuding.

Terima kasih sahaja untuk cinta palsu.
Aku lebih rela sendiri selalu.

Dark.

2009-11-04T01:10:00.001+11:00

The light everyone's looking for.

Kak Long saaaayang Mama and Abah.

2009-10-26T21:52:00.004+11:00

Everyone's parents seem to be having facebook account nowadays.
Although I'm very sure that both of my parents will NEVER have one (my dad's too busy and couldn't care less and my mum's technically technologically illiterate), I just wanted to make sure that what I'm sure of is assured to be true (hehe).
So I searched for my dad's name.
Result: Non-existent.

Phew.

In your face.

2009-10-26T19:28:00.011+11:00

I was an outcast at school. When I was in Form 1, everyone despised me. It started being like that when my then bestfriend who was also my toughest competition academically went around telling bad stuffs about me. I didn't know exactly what she told them and still don't, but it was bad enough to turn everyone against me, except this one girl who later became my friend. But we sat quite far from each other, so things were still not easy for me. Everytime a group of girls whispered things to each other, I would feel that they were talking about me. When a group of boys were laughing so hardly, I would feel that they were laughing at me. Maybe I was too paranoid, but I'm pretty sure that at least some of it were about me. So yes, I was one of those people who you cool kids at school labelled as the "Loser".

Come the next year, things got worst. A group of boys decided to not attend class one day and someone reported it to our class teacher. Being a typical bad situation that it was, people needed someone to blame it on. So of course, I was chosen. Everyone assumed that I was the guilty one, tough I swore that I was not. These few boys found out about it. It was so unlucky of me that they were also the 'coolest' gang at school. They started to spread the words to the others, and soon enough, everyone in my batch started hating me. Everything I did would get a synchronised 'boo' by the entire batch, or at least a loud laugh. Even the girls chimed in with the boys, especially those self-proclaimed hot bitches. It was sort of cool to hate me at that time. It was so painful that sometimes I secretly prayed that something bad would happen to them.

It went on until my final year of school. I became so immune to it that after a while, the pain has became just annoyance. Besides I was transferred to a different class with better classmates, so most of the time I managed to lay low and avoid them. Also, some of the mean boys and girls were expelled for bad results. School was becoming more bearable day by day. But when sunny days happen too long, the evil dark cloud will come again suddenly pouring the rain washing away all the happiness the sunshine brings. One day, I agreed to do a performance at school for teacher's day. While I wanted to do something that I love, I was also giving the enemies a reason to laugh at me again. They laughed at me during my performance. I was embarrassed in front of the entire school. The teasing did not stop there. Every chance that they get will be filled with dirty words and teases being thrown at me. Sadly, when a heavy rain came and poured too long, it brought along with it a disaster to the earth. The torture was hardly bearable anymore for me. I decided that I've had enough of all those bullshit and went to the disciplinary teacher, who was also my teacher that has taught me for three years whom I was close with. I told him the whole story, not noticing that tears started streaming down my face. I guess five years of torture had built up the tears, but their warm presence managed to surprise me nonetheless.

So you see, I am never the one who like to be in the 'cool' crowds. I despise and hate them, eventhough they're from different gang and do not do anything to me. I secretly wish that one day all of the mean girls would get bad husbands and become fat and poor all at the same time. Even when someone from that cool crowd does something nice to me, I am always prejudiced. I feel that beneath their good 'act', they have something that they want from me. They're plotting something against me, the Loser, and this is one of the ways they're doing it. I was holding grudge on them, and considering what some of them have done to me all those years, I know I was not wrong to feel so.

Now, when I'm here studying overseas doing all fine and good, suddenly all these exhighschool cool kids start to come back into my life hoping that I will accept them as my friends. I suddenly realised something.
I have won.

Noise.

2009-10-25T23:44:00.003+11:00

I wonder if loneliness is too high a price to pay for being yourself.
If it is, then why do some people still insisted on being one?

Do you have the time to listen to me whine?

2009-10-13T17:19:00.002+11:00

Looking outside the window I can see the wind blowing so strongly through the branches of trees on my left side. Yet on my right side, the trees just stood still, only few leaves affected by the windblow.

Cool weh.

It's like a metaphore of something. I'm not really sure of what, but I bet my gay lecturer would find it amusing.

Wait. The wind has just stopped blowing. Whoa. I guess even the trees and the wind don't like to be compared to William. Huahua.

Anyway, I've been surviving my life without internet in my room. It had been two weeks now. Hebat gila jugak lah if you ask me. Maybe this is sort of a training for me to survive IPBA.I don't know..Haih. My thoughts has been going back to Malaysia and IPBA these past few weeks. Now you know when you have thoughts relating to that shithole it won't be a good thing. The thoughts of going back there having a crappy, non productive, fattening (heh? tiba2 je fattening..but fuck yeah I'm blaming IPBA for being...well, fat. What's with the lack of social activities, having Pak Lang and Scud oily food all the times, how can you NOT blame IPBA right?) life scares me.

Ok, scary thoughts aside, I'm loving my nearly two years stay here. I always feel that when you're given the chance to go somewhere far to study, you ought to make good things out of it, or you better give your place up to someone who deserves better. I've gained a fair amount of experience here, but I admit I should have done better. A lot better. Oh well, at least I've learned a lot of things here. Things that I can bring back home and use in the future. For those who haven't done anything, I actually feel sorry for you. Imagine all the things that you've missed when the opportunities were served in a silver plate. That's a lot of things..a lot.

By the way, I've been stuffing myself with pasta and instant noodles these past few weeks. I wonder when will I get to change my choice of food. And let the internet back in my room. I'm hoping it's gonna be soon. I've been watching Malcolm in The Middle Season 1 to Season 7 on repeat while eating pasta for the past two weeks. Even typing it down makes me feel like puking. Huhu.

So anyway, what's the point of this entire blog post?
Well, with all different things being thrown in everywhere, with my thoughts all messed up, this post is actually about nothing.
It is yet another useless pointless post.
I'm pathetic.

How many times can you say you don't believe what you've heard.

2009-10-13T14:55:00.006+11:00

We are always furious when people judge us, as if we've never ever done the same thing to others.

Well, newsflash, we do it every day. Every single damn fucking day.
Just because we don't say it, doesn't mean we don't.
Oh yes.

ps; Notice how I used 'we' instead of 'you'? That's because I'm not afraid to admit that I do too.

Here I lie on my own in a separate sky.

2009-09-30T01:14:00.002+10:00

Sitting in front of my laptop listening to some music to fill in the empty bit in me, I can't help but wonder...

Am I meant to die alone?

2009-09-03T19:16:00.006+10:00

Winter is creeping away slowly but spring is still too shy to come in.

L.

2009-08-30T05:30:00.004+10:00

Every night when I was just about to close my eyes, I would see flashes of images of my mum and my dad, and hear their voices in my head. Every single night. And somehow, tears made its way to the corner of my eyes, before I pulled them all back in. They never went beyond that because I just won't give in.

I wonder if this is healthy.

Aduhai Malaysia.

2009-08-29T17:26:00.005+10:00

Kerajaan Negeri Selangor Mengecam Tindakan Hina Agama

KENYATAAN MEDIA

—29 OGOS 2009—SHAH ALAM: Kerajaan Selangor kesal terhadap tindakan menghina, menghasut dan menimbulkan kemarahan dalam kalangan penganut agama lain yang diapi-apikan oleh segelintir kumpulan pembantah yang berarak membawa kepala lembu sebagai tindakan membantah pembinaan kuil Hindu di Seksyen 23, di sini.

Pada ketika rakyat Selangor sedang bersiap-sedia untuk menyambut Ulang Tahun Kemerdekaan Ke-52, sikap tidak bertolak ansur terhadap agama orang lain yang masih wujud dalam kalangan segelintir warganegara Malaysia itu, sangatlah dikesali.

Kejadian dan tindakan menghina agama orang lain itu menyebabkan seluruh negara ini dilihat undur kebelakang dalam usaha mewujudkan rasa hormat terhadap kepelbagaian agama dan adat resam dalam kalangan penduduk pelbagai keturunan. Walhal usaha tersebut, sebenarnya sudah dilakukan sejak kemerdekaan tahun 1957 lagi, demi pembinaan satu negara bangsa yang memperlihatkan persamaan visi dan identiti.

Seterusnya, Kerajaan Negeri berharap semua rakyat supaya bersikap matang dan tidak mudah terpengaruh dengan sikap tidak bertanggungjawab segelintir pembantah tersebut kerana ia dikhuatiri boleh mewujudkan ketegangan antara kaum. Dalam hal ini, walaupun kita wajar mengecam tindakan mereka yang tidak bertanggungjawab tersebut, namun kita lebih baik menyerahkan kepada pihak berwajib untuk mengambil tindakan.

Sehubungan ini, Kerajaan Negeri meminta supaya pihak polis segera mengambil tindakan secara adil dan melakukan penyiasatan termasuk mengambil tindakan terhadap pihak-pihak yang mengugut para pemimpin Kerajaan Negeri.

Kerajaan Negeri juga sudah mengarahkan Majlis Bandaraya Shah Alam (MBSA) supaya mengadakan perbincangan terbuka pada Sabtu, 5 September 2009, yang dihadiri oleh penduduk sebenar Seksyen 23, pegawai-pegawai MBSA dan pegawai-pegawai Perbadanan Kemajuan Negeri Selangor (PKNS).

Perbincangan itu nanti bukan sahaja mendengar luahan pendapat masyarakat setempat tetapi juga memberikan peluang kepada pihak Kerajaan Negeri untuk menjelaskan fakta sebenar dan alasan yang menyebabkan keputusan menempatkan semula kuil Hindu di Seksyen 19 ke Seksyen 23.

Sementara menunggu tarikh perjumpaan tersebut, Kerajaan Negeri menggesa supaya penduduk Seksyen 23 bertenang dan tidak membiarkan diri mereka dipengaruhi oleh fakta-fakta yang tidak benar yang sengaja diapi-apikan oleh kumpulan yang memang berniat jahat terhadap keharmonian rakyat dan kestabilan politik Kerajaan Negeri Selangor.

Sekali lagi, marilah kita sama-sama memelihara sikap bertimbang rasa, rasional dan saling hormat menghormati kerana inilah cara terbaik bagi menyelesaikan hal ini.

TAN SRI DATO’ ABDUL KHALID IBRAHIM
DATO’ MENTERI BESAR SELANGOR

Menghina agama lain adalah sesuatu yang dikecam oleh Islam. Jadi sangat jelas yang dalang di sebalik semua ini ada agenda tersendiri, hanya mempergunakan agama sebagai alasan untuk menimbulkan kecoh. Harap-harap tindakan tegas akan diambil secepat yang mungkin bagi si bodoh ini semua.

Bunch of idiots.

Gay.

2009-08-29T00:57:00.001+10:00

Sometimes I just wanna say "yeah, whatever, you are eager to go anyway..".

Refleksi.

2009-08-24T05:18:00.002+10:00

Aku baru lepas habis bertegang urat dengan mat salleh di internet tentang Islam. Ok, bukan bertegang urat, cuma mereka ada prejudice terhadap agama aku, dan aku cuba sebaik yang boleh untuk terangkan pada mereka.

Obviously, I didn't do justice to my religion. But I tried as hard as I can.

Tapi, yang buat aku geram adalah Muslims yang lain yang hanya tahu marah tanpa memberikan sebab. Dah lama aku observe benda ni, orang Muslim (especially Melayu Muslim) memang terlampau cepat melatah. Ok, mereka insult agama kita, jadi aku faham kenapa kau marah. Tapi kau takboleh salahkan mereka sebab ada prejudice terhadap agama kita, sebab kau sendiri yang tak pernah nak terangkan. Kena jentik sikit, kau melatah.

Alih-alih, mat salleh tu semua ada stereotype baru terhadap orang Islam. Terlampau defensive, tapi kau tak tahu apa yang kau defend. Kau menjadi orang Islam bukan kerana kau percaya, tapi kerana kau ikut kaum keluarga dan kaum kau yang sudah dari dahulu lagi beragama Islam. Effort aku untuk memberi kefahaman pada mereka telah kau neutralisekan balik dengan kebodohan kau, jadi percepsi yang berasaskan kebencian, terus menerus akan berada di situ, dalam kepala dan hati mereka, tidak di ubah pun akhirnya.

But this makes me realise that banyak benda yang aku masih belum tahu tentang agama yang aku pegang, jadi banyak lagi yang perlu aku ambil tahu. Datang ke negara asing buat kau sedar apa yang kau buat, mengapa kau percayakan ini dan itu. Kalau di negara sendiri kau hanya take your state of being a Muslim for granted because there are always people around you telling you what to do, datang ke negara seperti ini yang menjadikan kau golongan minoriti akan membuatkan kau berfikir tentang semua perkara tentang diri kau, kerana orang akan terus menerus memberi kau segala macam soalan.

And for that, I'm thankful.

Anvil.

2009-08-22T01:00:00.004+10:00

I've just finished watching Anvil! The Story of Anvil and it was fantastic. It touched me, and made me laugh and smile at the same time. If you have the time, please check this movie out.

Basically it's about a band called Anvil (obviously) which is a heavy metal rockstars that has never quite make it in the industry. They've been around for a long time, and while this movie was recorded, they were working on on their 13th album. Still, they did not get to fully establish their band to the whole wide world. The movie is about the struggle of the band, especially the vocalist Lips and the drummer, Robb who is also Lips' bestfriend since he was fourteen, to be a metal rock band that is well known. You can see the hardships they have to go through to achieve their dream of thirty years which is even harder to make it real when you're in your 50s, you can feel the love and friendship that they have towards each other and how hard it is to be under a lot of pressure but still be strong and supportive. (You know how strong a friendship is between two men when they managed to cry and say 'I love you' to each other and not sound gay.)

I'm giving this movie a fuckin' A.

(yeah I know I'm not supposed to swear..sorry 'bout that)

Karma police will haunt you down.

2009-08-17T22:32:00.008+10:00

I always hate it when people say that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie make a beautiful couple.
Whenever I see a picture of them together, all I can think of is how heartless can they be, to flaunt their happiness that was at first based on another person's suffering, which is of course Jennifer Anniston's.

I don't understand how people can conform to such "value"or rather, the lack of. I know Angelina Jolie is hot as hell, and Brad Pitt is, as some of you might say,' delicious', but that does not make what they did right. Imagine Jen's feelings everytime she sees their photo together on red carpet hand in hand. The hands that used to touch her and comfort her are now in some one else' s hands. It used to be her place to stand beside that gorgeous looking man, but not anymore.

I don't know if it's just me being hopeless romantic or whatever (yeah the irony..), but aren't we supposed to be loathing this? It's a woman taking another woman's happiness away. Ok no, taking away is too tame of an adjective to describe it, more like snatching it away. She was MARRIED damn it! They used to be the 'IT' couple as everyone described it, but now Jennifer Anniston seems to be just another unstable Hollywood star, hopping from one relationship to another to look for a similar perfection that she used to have. Just because of that one homewrecking bitch.

Rather than being condemned, they have their faces being the cover of every entertainment magazine. People are chasing them everywhere, trying to take pictures of this 'lovely' couple being together. They even managed to grab millions of dollars for their childs' photos (ok so they gave it to charity, that doesn't make them less mean). People adore them, they even give a nickname for this couple: Brangelina.
Bravo to all of us.

Why suddenly the rush of emotion you ask me?

I don't know to be honest. It's just that I've been observing this for quite sometime. It's not just the Jennifer-Brad-Angelina thing, but this taking someone away from someone else thing in general. I've witnessed the heartbreak of so many people around me, and also those on the television (hence the Jen-Brad-Ange metaphore). It breaks me every time to see them lost, and it's even harder to see them crawl looking for the right direction to start right back up. And it gets me mad everytime that people treat this Brad+Ange behaviour like it's not a sin, especially when it is done by people that our society adore and love.

Some said that when something is meant to be, it's meant to be. This argument never really worked for me. You see, if you can use this line to argue on things, then heck all the evil in this world can be excused, just because it was "meant to be".

Don't get me wrong, I'm not getting mad all of a sudden because I was reminded of my past relationship or whatsoever, I've never really been trough this kind of situation. I've been in few relationships before but things just wont work. And man was it painful. Even with both side agreeing that we can't make it work, it still hurts. So I can't imagine how bad it is to be in Jen's shoes, or any other woman or man that were left by their acquaintance to be with some one else for that matter.

To those who have heartlessly done this before, please explain to me WHY, because I really don't understand..

And don't tell me that it's all about love, because at the end, sellfish bastards is all what you home/relationshipwreckers are.

I'll take freedom anytime over cheap politics.

2009-08-02T23:23:00.006+10:00

Aduhai Hishamuddin, daripada kau mencari siapa dalangnya, baik kau fikir bagaimana rally yang kau anggap bodoh itu boleh menarik 50 000 hingga 60 000 orang untuk hadir walaupun setelah jalan ditutup dan kerajaan memberi ugutan segala. Refleks kan diri kau dan seluruh kuncu keluarga di mana agaknya silap kau semua.

Atau mungkin sudah lama tahu tapi mahu sembunyi d belakang jari telunjuk kau yang dituju ke arah lain?
Let me tell you something Mr Minister, this cheap politics of yours is getting old.

Having this kind of leaders in our country, who should worry about having our country being humiliated to the whole world?

Haha.

You are the sea upon which I hope to float.

2009-07-17T00:28:00.003+10:00

Bila saja aku mula berserah dengan qada' dan qadar yang gelap itu, kau datang tarik aku kembali.
Sedikit demi sedikit.
Dengan lampu spotlight yang kau bawa ke mana-mana kau pergi.

Spotlight yang mungkin aku sahaja yng dapat melihat.
Spotlight yang harus aku hadangkan, mungkin dengan batu-batu kilometer.
Tapi seperti tahun cahaya, walaupun lama terpancar juga suluhan kau pada aku.
Mungkin unintentional oleh kau, tapi cukup untuk buat aku perit,
kerana lampu itu walaupun terang menyuluh, terlalu terik dan menggigit.

Aduh, tolong jangan lakukan ini.
Aku tidak boleh ditolak pergi dan ditarik kembali sebegitu sebegini.

Politik.

2009-06-26T22:06:00.002+10:00

“The government is great at breaking your leg, handing you a crutch,
and saying ‘You see, without me you couldn’t walk.’" ~ Harry Browne

=

"Kerajaan amat bermurah hati memberi subsidi kepada golongan petani dan pengusaha untuk menaikkan taraf kehidupan mereka" atau "Kerajaan telah bertekad untuk menyumbangkan wang secukupnya untuk untuk membantu rakyat miskin" atau "Ingat, kamu semua pergi belajar di luar negara atas ihsan kerajaan" selepas kita membayar cukai yang tinggi, duit petrol yang melampau dan tol yang berjuta-juta ringgit setiap hari.

Bermurah hati hutak lu.

Everything's lost.

2009-06-25T14:56:00.003+10:00

I lead an empty life for the time being.
I need some sparks, something new and exciting.
Since I have to cancel my Melbourne trip due to swine flu (my dad is so freaked out by the number of swine flu in Australia especially Victoria that he's thinking of me going back to Malaysia for good and leave this course...CRAZY) I have nothing to look forward to really.
And I just realised that because of that, my two year stay in Sydney only allows me to visit Brisbane and Gold Coast, and that's it.

I am so frustrated.
Particularly with how useless I am at the moment.

Random thought.

2009-05-30T19:11:00.002+10:00

Oh macam sudah agak lama tidak menjenguk keindahan Opera House dan kesibukan Queen Victoria Building. Sudah lama tidak menjenguk Hyde Park yang cantik. Sudah lama tidak makan di Laksa House. Sudah lama tidak berjalan-jalan bernafas oksigen segar di Botanical Garden. Sudah lama tidak melihat orang rmai membawa anak-anak bermain di Darling Harbour. Sudah lama tidak membeli-belah di Paddy's Market. Oh lamanya....

Iya, bila tiada duit, nak pergi city pun takboleh. Sigh.

Lef eut leud.

2009-05-24T20:24:00.002+10:00

A suicide bomber storms into a pet shop and declares, " you have thirty seconds to leave before I blow this place up!"

The tortoise at the back of the shop replied, "you bastard".

Cling to the mast.

2009-05-15T21:19:00.002+10:00

Aku dalam kelas, mencari-cari tempat duduk, dan aku buat keputusan untuk duduk di sebelah salah seorang coursemate. Bila aku letak beg aku di atas meja, baru mahu duduk, coursemate aku kasitahu aku : 'Oh ni tempat duduk X. I nak duduk sebelah dia'. Aku buat muka terkejut, aku kata 'hish' dan pergi duduk tempat lain. Coursemate aku kata 'ala, bolehlah..'

Ok, memanglah aku tak rapat dengan dia, tapi aku dengan dia sudah empat tahun belajar di institusi yang sama. Aku tak ada masalah untuk duduk berseorangan sebelah sesiapa pun yang aku kenal, sebab aku memang bersikap individual sedikit. Bagi aku, apa salahnya duduk satu jam sebelah orang yang aku tak betul-betul rapat, berjauh dari kawan-kawan lain untuk satu jam setelah luangkan every single minute of my life here with them. Tak ada masalah. Lagipun, aku rasa minda aku tak boleh hanya dijeruk dengan pergaulan orang yang sama. Kadang-kadang, perlu ada variasi juga hidup manusia. Jadi, bagi aku tidak ada langsung timbul isu untuk duduk di sebelah orang yang walaupun tidak rapat dengan aku, tapi sudah kenal satu sama lain untuk 4tahun.
I assumed everyone thought the same. I assumed wrong.

Some people should break free from their cocoon and build the courage to see the outside world.

Cemetery of stupidity.

2009-05-08T15:08:00.003+10:00

Pergi mana-mana pun orang bercakap pasal boyfriend/girlfriend or lack of.
Masuk facebook pun quiz semua pun pasal "pasangan secocok" lah, "compatibility" lah, "who's your true love" lah, "what kind of a lover you are" lah, semua pun quiz yang macam tu. Yang kelakarnya, ramai pulak yang percaya.

B O S A N.
Ok?

Seriously people, kalau kau dah ada, senyap-senyap sudah. Kau nak kecoh pasal problem kau dengan kekasih hati lah, pasal bekas teman lelaki lah, still have feelings for your ex-lover lah, buat apa? Keluar lah semua lirik lagu cheesy habis yang orang lain baca nak muntah, tapi kalau orang tanya, cakap tak ada apa-apa lah, itu lah, ini lah. Tak pun pening nak dating dekat mana, nak beli hadiah apa, girlfriend merajuk, boyfriend ada perempuan lain. Tak masuk pulak dengan yang konon-konon stucked in the middle sebab this guy is sweet but poor but the other guy is too serious but fucking rich. Emo lah pulak takboleh buat decision. Lepas tu buat shout out ala-ala macam nak deep habis, nak secretive habis, tapi why did you post it in the first place kalau tak nak orang tahu kan? Give us a break.

Kalau yang belum ada, jumpa-jumpa saja terus merungut nak ada boyfriend. Sedih-sedih macam dah takboleh hidup. Ok, first of all, people have been single since I don't know when and they kept on living like everyone else. Second of all, kau bercakap dengan orang yang single juga. Daripada tolong kau, baik diorang cari boyfriend untuk diri sendiri. Tapi diorang pun single, maknanya rungutan kau terhadap diorang adalah useless. Thirdly, there are so many things in the world that you can worry about rather than weeping your ass off because of your lack of love life. There's global warming, people starving in Africa, racism, political corruption, swine flu, terrorism, discrimination of farmers, capitalism, war, macam-macam lagi. Apa kata daripada kau merengek-rengek memikirkan benda yang takde hasil dan menunjukkan tahap IQ kau yang..ehem, faham-faham sendiri lah, lebih baik kau salurkan pemikiran kau untuk masalah-masalah dunia dekat atas tu. Try to change the world first, then maybe the world will change your life.

Ok, aku faham. We, especially the female, memang ada this feelings of wanting to be loved by the opposite gender. Aku tau, seronok ada teman lelaki ni. Keluar jalan-jalan dua orang, sakit ada orang peduli, masalah ada orang nak dengar, tapi jangan lah buat macam kau tu desperate sangat "memburu cinta" (ok aku type sambil meremang bulu roma). Kau lembik-lembik macam tu, memanglah selalu kena tinggal. If it comes, it comes. If it doesn't, maybe it's not time yet. Tapi, hidup kau tak payahlah revolves around your love life semata-mata. It's not the most important thing in life, at least not now.

Kita ni muda lagi lah. Banyak benda yang kau belum accomplish lagi dalam hidup. Kau bandingkan hidup kau dengan orang-orang di negara orang putih ni, umur 21 tahun dah berjaya mengubah university kepada Fairtrade University, umur 19 tahun sudah pergi ke luar negara menjadi sukarelawan, umur 20 tahun sudah keliling benua Eropah berseorangan backpacking, umur 18 tahun sudah mempunyai bermacam-macam working experiences, umur macam 22 sudah sibuk memperjuangkan hak asasi manusia.

Apa yang kita sudah buat dalam 21/22 tahun kehidupan kita?
Merengek sebab tiada kekasih hati.

Cuba fikir betul-betul, do you really want to be that stupid and pathetic?

Kan dah kata, jangan main jauh-jauh!

2009-05-06T01:18:00.004+10:00

Aku suka memerhati proses perubahan seseorang. Tak kisah lah yang drastik macam bila seseorang sudah jalan ke depan, tiba2 saja pusing mahu patah balik (aku akan terfikie kenapa orang ini patah balik? Ada yang dia terlupa ke? Ataupun tiba-tiba terlintas sahaj dalam fikiran dia yang keputusan berjalan terus itu bukan keputusan yang baik, maka perlu pusing menghala ke belakang pula) ataupun yang gradual seperti perubahan sikap spesimen pilihan aku.

Bagi aku, menarik untuk aku reka kan cerita aku sendiri kenapa seseorang itu membuat keputusan untuk berubah, ataupun melakukan perubahan. Menyesalkah dengan tindakan sebelum itu? Atau mahu patah balik sebentar, ada yang tertinggal di belakang? Boleh jadi juga dia takut dengan jalan di depan yang tidak familiar, lantas lebih selesa dengan jalan yang sudah dia lalu? Atau mungkin tindakan impulse, perlukan kepelbagaian dalam hidup? Mungkin juga dia sudah tidak ada pilihan lain, makanya harus jugalah dia bertukar arahnya.

Menarik juga untuk aku tunggu, sampai bila jalan baru itu menjadi pilihan? Kadang-kadang sebentar sahaja, bila sudah bosan, berpatah la balik. Kadang-kadang terus sahaja, sudah sebati pula lama-lama.

Suka juga aku lihat, penerimaan yang di sekelilingnya. Sesuai tidak dengan persekitarannya? Suka atau tidak kawan-kawannya? Aduh, manusia memang satu spesimen yang menarik. Penuh kepelbagaian. Penuh macam-macam.

Tapi aku geram bila satu-satu perubahan itu ada kesan negatif pada diri aku.
Aku jadi rimas. Aku jadi curious, kenapa?
Lagi-lagi perubahan pada orang yang dekat sama aku. Orang yang aku kenal luar dalamnya, yang sudah aku terima seadanya.
Aku tidak suka mahu agak-agak, tidak mahu buat cerita.
Aku mahu sebab sebenarnya.
Aku mahu tahu apa dalam fikirannya.
Aku mahu tahu bagaimana boleh sampai begitu jauhnya.

Sebab, kadang-kadang perubahan seseorang itu terlampau ridiculous.
Daripada berpijak di tanah, kau pilih untuk terbang di atas sana.
Maka kau tinggalkan yang di bawah-bawah ini, satu persatu kau lepaskan, maka kau rasa sudah tidak dibebankan dengan keberatan itu lagi.
Mungkin bila kau perlu makan kau akan turun sedikit ke bawah, itupun sampai ke pokok tertinggi cukup-cukup untuk kau ambil buahnya.
Kau sudah boleh melawan graviti. Hebat betul rasanya bebas begitu.

Aku mahu tahu, bila kau disambar petir tercampak kembali ke tanah, dengan lumpur berlumuran di badan bercampur dengan darah,
bila yang di bawah-bawah yang kau tinggalkan itu sudah jauh-jauh,
tidak tahan dengan kekotoran kau,
Apa yang kau mahu lakukan?

Hey, apa yang boleh kau lakukan?

How can they invade it, when it's so complicated?

2009-04-27T03:10:00.003+10:00

Facebook ni memang lah...
dah lama aku lari dari muka-muka familiar zaman lampau,
yang bagi aku sudah tidak ada signifikasi nya pun dalam hidup aku.

Tiba-tiba semua muncul satu per satu.
Setiap hari, datang lagi. Semua pun cuba untuk pecahkan bubble aku, berharap akan ada ruang untuk mereka selit.

Aku rimaslah!

Oh love don't let me go...

2009-04-20T15:03:00.007+10:00

My desktop for now..cool ey? Haha.

Oh shit.
My blog is getting more boring everytime I put up a new post.
Maybe I should get angry on something new
or do something exciting
or fall in love on something else....

Or maybe not.

.

2009-04-16T01:43:00.003+10:00

Sayangku,
banyak-banyak bersabar..
God has his own unique way in putting things into order..
I can't say that I know how you feel because the truth is, I'm not in your place..and I have no idea of how much it hurts you at the moment..
But what I can do is listen...
So if you need anyone to listen to you or ease your pain a little, just give me a ring..or any of us for that matter..

I believe that Allah will replace anything that He takes away from you with other goodness..
It might not be the same, but He always has reasons for everything He does..

And please remember one thing,
We love you so much.

What do I go to fall from grace?

2009-04-15T22:20:00.004+10:00

Remember my last post on being extremely broke? Well apparently my flu has gotten over my financial 'crisis', so I went to buy some flu pills..
I told the pharmacist that I've been having this bad flu for three weeks then so I needed something really strong. She ended up giving me some strong drugs which required me to show my driving licence in order to buy them..
I sticked to the pills...took them consistently and all..
Now I'm out of the pills..

And guess what I'm doing now in front of my laptop?

SNEEZING.MY.FREAKING.ASS.OFF. (actually, it'S sneezing my nose off..but then nose doesnt sound mad enough...I'm sooo mad right now..so ass sounds more 'appropriate'..ok now why am I explaining this to you? Urghh!)
That was the worst $11.95 that I have ever spent in my two years living in Sydney..
if I convert it into MYR, it will be around RM30++!!
So I just spent thirty freaking ringgit for that useless little white things??!
I am quite pissed at myself right now..
Adoiiiii why lah...

So yes ladies and gentleman, once again my self has proven how stupid she can sometimes be..
Well done yours truly.

Pelik gile.

2009-04-15T02:32:00.003+10:00

A man and his wife are having sex when their 10 year old son walks in on them.
The son screams 'OH MY GOD!' and runs out of the room.
The man laughs and says 'give him a few minutes to calm down, then I'll go in and explain what was going on.'

After a few minutes, the man walks into his son's room to find him having sex with his grandmother. The man screams 'OH MY GOD!'
'Yeah' the son says, 'it's not so funny when it's YOUR mother now is it?'.

Ok, that is sooo wrong.
Macam mana nenek tu boleh setuju nak get it on with her grandson? Dah menopause kot?

Sedih kot.

2009-04-03T01:17:00.003+11:00

Statement paling sedih untuk bulan ini (menurut pandangan teman tidur lambat aku):

Walaupun I sakit, I tak beli ubat sebab I takde duit.

Sungguh sedih, sampai teman tidur lambat aku terus berlari2 datang ke bilik membawa ubat untuk pesakit yang tak berduit tersebut.

Iye, aku sungguh miskin sekarang smpai duit tak mampu dikeluarkan untuk tujuan kesihatan.

Haha, rasanya macam dah layak masuk Bersamamu dekat TV3.

The IN THING right now.

2009-03-26T22:03:00.006+11:00

It's Earth Hour y'all!
Let us be one of those possible 1 billion of the coolest people of the world yawwww.

Ok I'll cut the crap.
Actually, dont do this because you want to be cool. That will make it not cool.

Do this because you have to. Because you are part of the human race. Because you are intelligent and concern. Because you are educated. Because you want Earth to be a better place. Because you are getting married one day and have children and want them to live healthily. Because for once in your life you are doing something beneficial to the society. Because for once you will be thinking about others and not just yourself. Because you love the plants and the animals. Because you want to live longer. Because you have promised to God that you will take care of the Earth and all the things in it. Because you are tired of human's stupidity and greed. Because you have the power to change the world.

BECAUSE YOU CARE.

We live in a beautiful world....yeah we do yeah we do!

2009-03-19T15:24:00.003+11:00

LIST OF THINGS TO ACCOMPLISH BEFORE MY LIFE IS COMPLETE

1) ~~See Coldplay in concert (three times)~~
2) ~~Be in at the front centre during the concert~~
3) ~~Grab Chris Martin's attention with my 'HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY CHRIS' sign~~
4) ~~Have him notice my arm that I made similar to his~~
5) ~~Have him notice me when he was on stage~~
5) ~~Meet Will Champion in flash and take picture with him~~
6) ~~Meet Chris Martin in flash~~
7) ~~Have him talking to me first about my banner and my arm again before I could say anything to him~~
8) ~~Have him constantly turning to my direction~~
9) ~~Have him to sign my stuffs~~
10) ~~Take a hell lot of photos with him~~
11) ~~Have a video recorded the whole time I was interacting with him~~
12) ~~Have a 'something something' with him (which I wont write about here)~~
13) ~~Have the best last Coldplay concert and have that 'something something' being shown on big screen during the concert~~
14) ~~Have him remembering me and telling me that he notices me for three nights~~
15) ~~Smell him and hug him tightly, letting him wrapping his arm around my shoulder and me around his waist.~~

Seems like my life is complete now.

I tried to sing but I could not think of anything.

2009-03-19T14:26:00.004+11:00

It is so hard when the thing that you want most is the most impossible thing that will happen to you.
It tortures you the most when you were once so close yet the distance is now so clear.
It is hard to accept that even if you work as hard as you can, some things just will not work, although you were taught since small that you should work for the things you want.
It crashes you that your dreams have now clearly faded, no path will ever be opened for it to come back.

The queation is now, what should you do about it?

"The hardest part was letting go, not taking part, it was the hardest part.."

The Ultimate Coldplay Experience. (Now my feet wont touch the ground. Ever.)

2009-03-12T19:30:00.006+11:00

This is a review of the whole experience. Bear with me as this will be a fucking long one.

It was at 10am, on the 11th March of 2009.
We (Iner, Chong, Diana, Pohlin and moi) arrived at Acer Arena. There were 9 people lining up in front of us. When we've secured our place, I've decided to take a walk around acer arena just to find out which door would the guys come in to. I saw a parking lot and there were few roadies standing outside smoking. I waited there with Iner for few minutes. Then one army guy came and told us that the guys are coming at 2-ish pm. So i waited until 3pm but the guys still didnt come. I asked the security lady and she told me..'the guys are coming and they ARE going through this door..but u didnt hear it from me..' What a nice lady...

I waited with iner waited until 3.30 and the guys still haven't come. At some point Iner was sleeping, too tired of waiting (thanks Iner for always being there beside me). I decided to just wait until 4 then I'll go back to queue...Then there was a toyota mpv came in at 3.45pm and I saw from the driver's seat Guy Berryman(bassist-Iner's favourite) and Johnny Buckland(guitarist) sitting at the back! I was so excited and decided to go to the loading dock again after the concert.

Going into the venue was like a war. People were pushing and running! We were pushed to the back when we gathered inside acer arena. There were a bunch of girls who called their other friends to line up in front of us..I told them that was unfair and they said..'u can go and complain if u want to..' What a bunch of bitches. Then the guy that lined up in front of me suddenly pulled my hand to the front!(and yes, he's a cutie-approved by all the other four hehe) All the early comers cheered and we stayed together! Then when the security released us, everyone ran as fast as possible to get to the front..I was thinking there's no hope for me to be at the front anymore...but while I was running, I saw pohlin already standing at the barrier right in front of the stage waving to me and calling my name!! I ran to her and hugged her. Thanks poh lin honey!

Suddenly a photographer from triple M came to me to ask for a photo of me and my banner (it read 'COLDPLAY RULE AUSTRALIA'). Then few other photographers and video cameras came to ask for the same thing. After 10minutes waiting, Decoder Ring came on stage. i guess they were pretty good. But Mercury Rev was UNBEARABLE!! Ttheir songs seemed to go on for ever!!! What a torture. When the roadies(people who work on stage and backstage) were cleaning up the stage, I saw Maynard(one of the roadies-dont ask me how did i know him, but yeah i did my research!) and shouted his name. He, and few other roadies were shocked and looked at me, unsure if they heard it right. i shouted 'maynard!' again, and the roadies got excited and pointed at Maynard. The fans at our side was cheering up too, though they were not sure about what was happening. One of the roadies asked me how did I know Maynard, and I told him about roadie 42's blog on coldplay.com..hehe. My girls said that I was crazy, and I would not deny that.

After that, I was waiting for the Jay Z song. When it came out..I was shouting alone! lol! Guess other people doesnt really know that the jay-z song is the the que for Coldplay to come out next.. There was a guy breakdancing on the stage along with this song..he was good..haha.

Then finally COLDPLAY came on stage!! They were bringing a firework with them and they went around the stage with a sheer blind covering them...They played the whole LIFE IN TECHNICOLOR behind the blind..Crowd uproared and sang the 'oooooo' part together. Then the blind dropped and Coldplay continued playing the next two songs VIOLET HILL and CLOCKS. At the end of violet hill Chris sang something like 'if u're from sydney wont u let me know'...Crowd went crazy during clocks and sang along..Then it was time for IN MY PLACE which brings out excitement from the crowed more than before.

Then came in YELLOW...before yellow, Chris was mentioning about australia's got talent and how we should sing together to get to the final..lol. The yellow balloons were amazing!!!! After yellow, they played GLASS OF WATER and only me and the other guy on the front row sang along...Well, I heard that has happened before this so I was not surprised. CEMETERIES OF LONDON and 42 came in after that.

Again, people got excited when they heard FIX YOU. Everyone sang along to the song. Chris pointed the mic out to the crowed for the chorus part. After the song end, Chris said that everyone qualified to the final of australia's got talent...haha. Then he sang STRWABERRY SWING and people clapped and cheered when this song came to air.

The lights went off after strawberry swing. All the guys went to the right stage and chris sat at the piano. They played TALK (DANCE VERSION) and GOD PUT A SMILE. After that, Johnny Guy and Will went back to the center stage leaving Chris alone with his piano. Chris said that this is the time where the guys allowed him to go solo and do his thing lol. He played HARDEST PART and POSTCARDS FROM FAR AWAY. Those blew me away. All of you should see Chris playing the piano. Sweats were dropping like water from pipes. He even banged the chair he sat on soooo hard. I think that's why his bum is just.so.sexayyyyhhhhh!!!

I told the girls that VIVA LA VIDA will come next. And it did. Chris ran back to the center stage. Everyone jumped and went crazy during this song. Even the seating people stood up. I cant breathe when Chris laid down trying to catch his breath. I died for a while. Then he played LOST! and everyone sang along as well.

After those epic songs, it's time for the boys to run to the c-stage at the back. Guy took the water that one of the girls gave him and drank it...I think the girl nearly fainted..and Iner is a bit jealous lol. They played SPEED OF SOUND, magnificent as always. Then chris said something like because tonight is a happy night, we dont want to just play sad coldplay song. So let's just go back to the 1960's and play and enjoy a happy song. They played I'M A BELIEVER, crowed responded to the song during the 'uuuuuu' part. While singing, Chris asked the crowd, 'i'm a belie...are u in love?' Then he asked johnny, then he asked Will a few times too just to tease him lol. Chris then moved the mic stand to Will's front and I knew that it's time for DEATH WILL NEVER CONQUER. Will sang perfectly.

Then the lights went off and VIVA LA VIDA REMIX went to air. Everyone lighted up their handphones. it was magical. just magnificent.

Then i heard this powerful piano playing and I knew this is going to be POLITIK. I jumped like a crazy girl but I didnt really care. Like before, crowd jumped up and down and went all insane for this song. After that the boys played LOVERS IN JAPAN. I have to say, the butterfly confetti made everyone happy, especially the glow in the dark ones. After that beautiful song, Chris just continued playing DEATH AND ALL HIS FRIENDS. This is when I knew that it's going to be their last song. I was a bit sad as it felt too short. The guys then took their last bow..this is when my friend and I shouted 'happy belated birthday chris!!!!!' and I showed my board with 'HAPPY BELATED CHRIS' written on it. Chris looked at us and said thank you. Then, *clears throat* he pointed at me and pointed at his arm...because I have the colour stripes on my arms too!!!!!!!!! I was just about to faint when my friend hugged me! lol. (IF ANYONE FIND A VIDEO OF THE GUYS BOWING DOWN AND CHRIS POINTING AT ME AND ALL, PLEASE TELL ME..I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE THAT)

Then of course, they came back for encore. They played THE SCIENTIST and LIFE IN TECHNICOLOR II. Then Chris said 'byebyebyebyebyeeeeeee'. Oh may I just point out that my friends are such sweethearts to bear with my craziness throughout the concert!! love u guys so much!!!!

Right after they went backstage, I shouted 'CAN I HAVE A SETLIST PLEASE!!!! A SETLIST!!! I WANT A SETLIST PLEEEEAAAAASSSSSEEEEEEE' I called Matt(another roadie) and he took Johnny's setlist and passed it to the security. Everyone wanted it but the security came straight to me and said...'no, this is for HER!' hahahaha...yea i know i was special..haha.

Then I went to the loading dock again. Met Will(drummer) and he was awesomely nice. He chatted with everyone. He offered to take a picture with a guy again because the photo that he took was a bit shaky. What a sweet guy!! I asked him whether the other guys are coming out soon and he told me that Guy and Johnny has gone back but Chris will come out shortly. I was sooo excited!!

Few minutes after that, a tinted black van came out and someone was waving at us...He was wearing a checkered shirt so I knew it wont be Chris. But the other who were waiting was sure that it was Chris. I said that it was quite impossible because Chris DO NOT wear checkered shirt like that. Then I went to the lady (the same sweet security lady that told me about the boys coming in through the door) and asked him if chris is coming out soon but she told me that Chris was in that black van. I was so disappointed that I called the guy who's picking me up and told him I was ready to go home. When I was just about to step into the van, suddenly the security lady shouted 'hey young lady!!! Chris is coming out soon!!!!!! (she was so understanding and super nice, I love her). I knew I was right about Chris not wearing a checkered shirt!!!! I straightaway got out of the van, went to the man with walkie talkie and asked him if it was true and he said yes. Few moments later, OUT CAME CHRIS MARTIN, my long lost love.

His van stopped right in front of me and Kelly his bodyguard came out...I said 'Hi Kelly and he was shocked at first, but he said hello back. He opened the door for Chris, then Chris stepped out of the mpv. I lost my control for a while and shouted 'arghhhh!' with few other girls and felt embarrased after that. Kelly asked us to keep it low and Chris kind of whispered 'yeah guys..we have neighbours...' and we laughed. After Chris said hi and all, the first thing he did was he looked at my banner and said..'I REALLY LIKE THAT BANNER U MADE, AND I DID NOTICE YOUR ARM TOO' and I died for the umpteenth time. I told him we should take picture with that banner and he said yes we should, but he'll give the rest his signature first. He signed my setlist and my cd, for two times. The second time he signed it, I actually forgot that he signed mine already with his black pen, and he said 'i've signed that one..' i said 'oh yea i forgot'..and he said..'oh you want me to sign it with your silver pen do u? i'll sign it with you silver pen...' he took the pen from my hand and signed it. A girl told Chris that he's so tall, and i told her that Chris is 6 feet 2. Chris looked at me and said, 'I am 6 feet 1 actually...People have been telling me that I'm 6 feet 2 but I dont think it's true. I dont care about that shit anyway..' and I just listen to his voice talking to me like the most beautiful melody I've ever heard. And finally, I got a picture with him together with Iner. I got electric shock when he wrapped his arm around my shoulder. Of course, I wrapped my hands around his waist back! Haha. And yes, he smelled niceeeeeee.

So OBVIOUSLY, it was the best night of my entire life.
I got lucky from the first moment i arrived there..felt like the doors were opened for me one by one..
Sorry for this awfully long review, I just cant help myself..
For the time being i cant listen to coldplay song without tears streaming down my face...just like what happened in Iner's room just now..huhu.

And once again, thank you to all my sweethearts who were there to witness two lovers unite into one, and to all the sweethearts who werent there but were as happy for me...
i LOVE u guys.

So now if people say that dreams dont come true, I beg to differ.

Berderai.

2009-03-02T02:23:00.005+11:00

Kenapa agaknya sebuah janji itu sungguh bermakna?
Kenapa agaknya bila sebuah janji itu ditepati itu dapat melahirkan kegembiraan yang teramat sangat?
Kenapa agaknya apabila satu janji itu kau mungkiri, dalam betul luka hati yang kau khianati itu?

Kalau kau tanya aku, ini yang akan aku katakan pada kau:

Kerana pada janji itu terletak kepercayaan. Sejauh mana kau mengotakan janji kau itu sebenarnya adalah satu ukuran kepada sejauh mana boleh orang lain percayakan kau. Kau lupakan janji kau, maka kau hilang kepercayaan orang lain terhadap kau tidak kiralah keluarga, kawan, teman perniagaan, malah sesiapa sahaja yang terlibat dengan janji itu.

Kerana pada janji itu juga terletak satu harapan. Tidak kiralah kalau janji kau itu sekecil zarah pun, makna janji kau itu pada seseorang boleh menjadi setinggi Everest. Bila kau mungkiri janji itu, gunung yang tinggi itu umpama diletup berkecai oleh zarah atom janji kau. Jadilah kau seorang pemusnah kejam.

Dapatkah kau lihat sekarang, betapa kuatnya kuasa sebuah janji pada seorang manusia?

Maka tolonglah semua (termasuklah si bodoh di dalam cermin),
hati-hati sama janji yang kau taburkan.

So come over, just be patient, and don't wooooooorry.

2009-02-23T20:08:00.003+11:00

I received a letter just now and it went like this....

Congratulations!

You are one one of our lucky winners in our COLDPLAY competition.

Please find enclosed 2 tickets to see COLDPLAY in concert.

And keep watching Video Hits for your chance to win more amazing prizes.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Do NOT imagine what happened after that.....it was ugly.
And sweet...haha.

Basketcase.

2009-02-23T01:45:00.006+11:00

Me : Hey, are these yours? (pointing at a box of empty bottles)
DA : No, why do you think they're mine?
Me : Well because usually girls dont take those that much. And you're the only guy in this house so I assume those are yours.
DA : Actually they were mine when they're full, but now that they're empty...
Me : Oh my gosh....I knew they're yours! It's been there for a long time...you should throw it away!
DA : Oh come on...it's a piece of art. Haven't you heard of Picasso?
Me : Well have you ever heard of ******? I don't think so!
DA : Ok fine! (Got up and threw the box away). God, people like you will never understand art.

----------------------------------------------------------

Me : Teach me a spanish word.
DA : Ok, follow me...kukaracha.
Me : Kukaracha? What's that?
DA : Cockroach.

----------------------------------------------------------

Girls : Blablabla horny blablabla..
DA : Wait a minute did I hear horny?
Girls : Yea...
DA : Why suddenly horny?
Girls : Haha, nothing. We were just playing around.
DA : How do you pronounce horny in Malay?
Me : Terangsang.
DA : Terangsang (with the super damn sexy accent that made us nearly die).
Me : Well actually we have quite a few terms for horny in Malay especially among young people..you know, youth terms.
DA : Well clearly Malaysian teens love that word so much...

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Suddenly these memories came back to mind.

Hey Mr Picasso, te extraño mucho.

Toyol pun lagi bijak.

2009-02-17T20:08:00.003+11:00

Hey si bodoh Khir Toyo,
cuba kasitahu aku betul-betul,
sebab aku betul-betul tidak faham,
sejak bilakah berbogel di rumah sendiri semasa tidur sesuatu yang salah?

Sejak bila kesalahan memecah privasi seseorang
boleh dikaburkan dengan perbuatan yang tidak ada apa pun salahnya dari segi moral.

Kasi tahu aku, sejak bila hah??

Kau yang mengamalkan rasuah berjuta-juta ringgit semasa di atas,
yang memakan duit rakyat sesuka hati,
kau yang menipu semasa hari mengundi,
yang korupsinya berjela-jela jika ingin disebutkan
hendak bercakap tentang kesalahan moral?

Tolong, kau harus sedar di mana kau berpijak.

Dan pihak yang merancang semua ini (yang bagi aku agak jelas siapa)
kasihan sungguh aku pada kau.
Sudah tidak ada kuasa di situ, guna jalan yang jijik ini pula untuk mendapatkan tempat kau semula,
yang mana kau tidak ada hak pun pada mulanya.

Menjatuhkan maruah dan harga diri seorang wanita hanya kerana ingin memiliki sekeping tanah untuk dijajah.

Upon your dirty tactic and politic, I spit.
You are just disgusting.

Tsk.

2009-02-05T01:45:00.003+11:00

Tahu apa yang aku paling benci buat masa sekarang?

Drama orang dewasa persis budak belasan tahun.
Cepat melenting, naif dan hanya menerima segalanya yang dihidang dahulu.

Haih, agak bosan.

Loohoooooooooooserrrrrr.

2009-01-23T00:05:00.005+11:00

Ok, aku rase sangat loser sekarang..sebab hari2 aku dipenuhi dengan bangun pukul 2petang, bukak laptop, tengok ape yang boleh makan untok brunch, dudok depan laptop balik, sembahyang of kos, dudok depan laptop lagy, (on rare occasions buat aerobics..RARE being the operative word), mandi, mandi, mandi, duduk depan laptop lagi tunggu Iner balik drp berjalan2 dengan her bestfriend Aliaa yang datang Sydney for 3weeks, lepak dengan Iner and Aliaa, balik bilik, Sabrina buzz dekat ym suruh pergi rumah dea, lepak rumah Sabrina, dengar Sabrina cakap pasal bilik dia bersepah (walaupun sebenarnye barang2 dea disusun secare symmetrical..demn yu Sab!), balik rumah, sembahyang Subuh, tido. Setiap hari macam tu. Macam kau tekan butang replay dekat music player kau (takkirelah winamp ke windows media player ke itunes ke) then lagu yang same akan keep on playing over and over again. Hidup ni kan macam music, ade melodinya kan? Ok aku dh mengarut lagy. And notice macam mana aku menulis dengan takde sebarang perenggan pun kali ni? Ha macam tuhla hidup aku sekarang. L.O.S.E.R G.I.L.A.

Ok dah kena pergi rumah Sab sekarang.

What makes me adore Chris Martin (1)

2009-01-12T16:37:00.003+11:00

Jonny: With this new album, we didn't want to repeat ourselves at all.
Chris: We didn't want to repeat ourselves at all.
Jonny: At all.
Chris: At all.

Oh, sungguh adorable.

Kau, yang membenci dan dibenci aku. Mari kita hentikan hypocrisy cinta-mencinta ini. Oh jangan salah faham, post ini bukan untuk seorang lelaki.

2009-01-12T05:13:00.008+11:00

I think I've reached my limit.
I've always given you the benefit of the doubt, though everything is going against you.
I'm not saying that I'm the nicest person in this world, but I've tried very hard to be nice to you. But apparently that is not enough to shut your smelly mouth.
So now I've decided to take few big steps back from you. And probably if I have enough strength to, I will even run away from you. You are too dangerous, and I dont like to always be worried about the danger that I'm facing when I associate myself with you.
I'm sorry, I've tried, but obviously it didn't work. Never has, and most probably never will.

And I beg you, please stay away from me too.

(please excuse this stupid childish highschool-ish post, cant help it..maybe because I'm finally getting too tired of this kind of bullshit)

Menarik.

2009-01-08T15:23:00.002+11:00

Tulisan blog ini yang aku kira pembuka minda aku tentang kes Israel-Gaza. Aku mahu beri peringatan terlebih dahulu, tidak semestinya apabila aku paste kan di sini bererti aku bersetuju bulat2. Cuma ini adalah dari perspektif seorang penulis blog yang aku rasa sungguh menarik untuk dikongsi.

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Doing A Gaza

“If somebody was sending rockets into my house where my two daughters sleep at night, I would do everything to stop that and would expect Israel to do the same thing.”

Itu kata-kata Barrack Obama, bukan George W Bush; di bandar Sderot yang terletak di kawasan selatan Israel dan merupakan sasaran utama roket-roket Hamas.

Jika kamu tinggal di Johor Bahru dan setiap malam ditembak roket oleh Singapura, apa yang kamu akan buat?

Kamu tidak akan buat apa-apa, kecuali menuntut pada pihak kerajaan kamu untuk melakukan sesuatu bagi menghentikannya. Dan kerajaan kamu (yakni kerajaan Malaysia) akan mengerahkan tenteranya untuk menyerang balas.

Itu pun jika kerajaan kamu dan tenteranya ada telur.

Tetapi kerajaan Israel dan bala tenteranya memang bertelur. Walaupun ada di antara mereka di luar sana yang dengan sinis akan berkata, “Oh, menentang penduduk Palestin yang tidak lengkap bersenjata, memanglah berani.”

Sebuah negara Yahudi dengan lebih sedikit dari 7 juta rakyat di tengah dunia Arab dengan populasi hampir 340 juta orang. Pernah pula beberapa kali berperang dengan jiran-jiran Arab mereka dan memenangi sebahagian besar peperangan itu.

Hakikatnya Israel memang berani dan mereka akan melakukan apa saja demi kelangsungan hidup negara Israel itu sendiri.

Yang tidak berani dan tidak bertelur ialah negara-negara Arab yang hanya tahu untuk bersidang di dalam Liga Arab sambil minum teh pudina dan kemudian mengutuk sekeras-kerasnya kekejaman Israel.

Juga yang tidak berani dan tidak bertelur ialah negara-negara Islam bukan Arab yang hanya tahu menekan negara-negara Arab untuk melakukan sesuatu atau mengajak negara-negara Arab itu untuk bersidang pula dalam OIC sambil minum teh tarik (jika ianya dianjurkan di Putrajaya).

Kemudian mengeluarkan kenyataan bersama mengutuk sekeras-kerasnya kekejaman Israel.

Kecuali Malaysia barangkali, yang telah bertindak untuk mendermakan sekurang-kurangnya USD1 juta kepada Palestin, menyeru diadakan sidang tergempar PBB dan mahu memboikot produk atau jenama dari Amerika Syarikat.

Tetapi sidang tergempar PBB akan hanya melibatkan para perwakilan berhimpun di New York, bersidang dalam dewan dan kemudian makan minum. Mereka juga akan menginap di hotel-hotel mewah dan pergi berjalan atau membeli-belah di sekitar kota New York ketika waktu lapang.

Kemudian membentangkan resolusi mengutuk kekejaman Israel. Resolusi gencatan senjata belum tentu dapat diluluskan, kerana ianya kemungkinan besar bakal diveto oleh Amerika Syarikat.

Begitu juga seruan memboikot produk atau jenama Amerika Syarikat. Ini kerana kita belum ada restoran makanan segera dari Arab Saudi atau minuman berkarbonat dari Mesir. Apatah lagi perubatan, perkakasan berteknologi tinggi, jentera, perisian komputer dan sebagainya.

Jika kita mahu boikot dengan betul, kita akan terbantut. Malaysia akan berhenti berfungsi sebagai sebuah negara. Ini kerana negara-negara di dalam Liga Arab atau OIC yang menjadi saudara kita tidaklah bijak dalam perkilangan atau pembuatan. Jadi boikot kita hanyalah retorik semata-mata.

Alasan Israel untuk menyerang Gaza ialah kerana mereka mahu memusnahkan keupayaan ketenteraan Hamas di Gaza. Israel mahu serangan roket Hamas ke atas Israel dihentikan dan satu-satunya cara mereka dapat menghentikan serangan roket ini ialah dengan tindakan ketenteraan mereka sendiri.

Lalu Israel dilabelkan sebagai berlaku kejam ke atas Palestin.

Maka serangan roket Hamas sebelum ini mungkin satu friendly gesture barangkali?

Dan perasankah kita serangan Israel setakat ini hanya terhad di Gaza sahaja?

Sedangkan Palestin itu terdiri dari Gaza dan Tebing Barat. Dua wilayah yang terpisah dengan Israel terletak di antara mereka.

Bezanya Gaza diperintah oleh Hamas yang radikal sementara Tebing Barat di bawah kuasa Fatah yang lebih sederhana. Ini semua bertitik tolak dari pilihanraya Palestin tahun 2006 dulu bila Hamas melakukan kejutan dan menguasai parlimen dari Fatah yang merupakan parti pemerintah sebelumnya.

Fatah, yang memilih perdamaian dengan Israel sekaligus mendapat sokongan rejim Tel Aviv itu bersama sekutu Amerika Syarikat mereka cuba untuk menafikan kemenangan pilihanraya Hamas dan klimaks dari konflik antara dua parti Palestin ini ialah Pertempuran Gaza pada Jun 2007. Kesan dari peristiwa ini Palestin terpecah dua, Gaza di bawah Hamas dan Tebing Barat di bawah Fatah.

Rata-rata umat Islam melihat konflik Fatah-Hamas ini sebagai satu pengkhianatan ke atas Hamas yang mendapat mandat rakyat Palestin sementara Fatah pula dilihat sebagai boneka Israel dan Amerika Syarikat. Tebing Barat kekal aman dan makmur sementara Gaza menerima berbagai sekatan dari Israel.

Hakikatnya, bukan Israel saja yang memberi tekanan kepada Hamas di Gaza. Negara-negara Arab juga turut terlibat dalam usaha untuk melemahkan Hamas melalui tekanan politik dan juga sekatan ekonomi.

Pendek kata, tidak ada sebuah pun negara Arab yang mahukan sebuah Palestin mengikut acuan Hamas. Ya, siapa yang mahukan sebuah negara yang dikuasai pengganas? Pastinya Dinasti Saud di Arab Saudi tidak dapat tidur sekatil dengan pergerakan revolusi rakyat seperti Hamas. Begitu juga junta sosialis Ba’ath di Syria, monarki Hasyimiyah di Jordan mahupun puak nasionalis NDP di Mesir. Tiada satu negara Arab pun yang mahukan kewujudan Palestin versi Hamas dalam dunia Arab mereka.

Oleh sebab itu, ketika Israel meneruskan operasi ketenteraan mereka di Gaza, Mesir yang bersempadan dengan Gaza memilih untuk menutup sempadan mereka dan berpeluk tubuh membiarkan rakyat Palestin di Gaza menderita.

Negara-negara Arab sebenarnya redha pada tindakan Israel ke atas Gaza. Mereka redha rakyat Palestin di Gaza dijadikan korban demi untuk menghancurkan entiti politik bernama Hamas yang dilihat sebagai ancaman kepada status-quo politik dunia Arab.

Mungkin hakikat sebenarnya ialah bukan kerana negara-negara Arab dalam sidang Liga Arab tidak berbuat apa-apa kerana tidak bertelur dan pengecut, sebaliknya tindakan mereka berpeluk tubuh ialah kerana mereka mahu Israel menghancurkan Hamas.

Salahkah Mesir, Arab Saudi dan negara Arab lain bila mereka membiarkan nyawa rakyat Palestin menjadi taruhan kepentingan politik mereka?

Sedangkan ketika Pertempuran Gaza pada Jun 2007 dulu, Hamas dalam usaha mereka mengusir Fatah keluar dari Gaza telah menjadikan ratusan rakyat Palestin sebagai mangsa cita-cita politik mereka. Begitu juga dengan krisis Gaza yang berlaku sekarang, Hamas mempergunakan orang awam sebagai perisai manusia sekaligus menjadi faktor betapa ramainya orang tua, perempuan dan kanak-kanak yang menjadi korban serangan Israel.

Maaf kepada para pembaca beragama Islam di luar sana. Maaf jika aku mengecewakan semangat jihad Islamik kamu atau membuat kamu marah. Tapi inilah realitinya, tiada apa-apa yang holy atau suci dalam konflik Palestin ini. Hanya permainan politik di antara kuasa-kuasa yang terlibat.

Dan permainan politik itu tidak terhad di Palestin atau sekitar dunia Arab sana. Malah di Malaysia ini juga isu Palestin dijadikan permainan politik. Kenapa agaknya media massa setiap kali melaporkan protes atau perhimpunan yang melibatkan Barisan Nasional mereka menyebut “protes yang diketuai Barisan Nasional’ atau ‘perhimpunan anjuran UMNO’ tetapi bila melaporkan protes atau perhimpunan melibatkan PAS, ianya sekadar disebut ‘protes atau perhimpunan oleh badan-badan NGO di Malaysia’?

Isu Palestin juga boleh dijadikan bahan propaganda memancing undi nampaknya.

Sebenarnya, apa yang negara-negara dan orang-orang Arab atau Islam mahukan sebagai penyelesaian kepada isu Palestin ini?

Perdamaian antara Palestin dan Israel yang juga meliputi konsep kewujudan kedua-dua negara? Atau kewujudan sebuah negara Palestin dari kehancuran Israel?

Jika perdamaian dan kewujudan bersama yang kita cari maka mungkin kita perlu memaksa Hamas untuk menghentikan sikap agresif mereka terhadap Israel dan menggalakkan usaha damai antara Hamas dan Fatah. Kembali semula kepada pelan damai dan berusaha ke arah penubuhan negara Palestin yang boleh hidup bersama Israel sebagai jiran, biarpun ianya mengambil masa yang lama. Pastinya Israel juga wajib memberikan komitmen yang serupa, mungkin berhasil jika Israel merasakan tiada mana-mana puak politik dalam Palestin yang agresif terhadap Tel Aviv.

Atau jika pilihan kita ialah kehancuran Israel dan kebangkitan Palestin yang merdeka sepenuhnya, buatlah satu sidang Liga Arab atau OIC, kemudian berikan satu perisytiharan perang bersama ke atas Israel dan sekutu-sekutunya. Rata-rata umat Islam yakin dengan janji yang telah termaktub, bahawa Yahudi itu bangsa yang dilaknat oleh Tuhan dan harinya akan tiba bila bala tentera Islam menakluki Israel dan menyembelih setiap Yahudi yang lalu di depan mereka.

Jadi, tunggu apa lagi? Ini jalan pintas ke syurga. Mati syahid ialah tiket kamu ke syurga. Biar kamu banyak dosa, tapi jika kamu sanggup meletupkan diri kamu di dalam sebuah bas yang penuh dengan Yahudi Zionis, kamu pasti masuk syurga. Bukan aku yang bagi fatwa, tapi Hamas.

Dan aku yakin Hamas akan menerima dengan tangan terbuka sambil berkata ‘syukran’ jika kamu mahu jadi sukarelawan mati syahid mereka.

Atau semuanya hangat-hangat tahi ayam? Di sebalik keghairahan memijak dan membakar bendera Israel atau Amerika Syarikat umat Islam sebenarnya ragu-ragu sama ada bermatian untuk menghancurkan Israel itu adalah sesuatu yang berbaloi untuk mereka.

Dilema. Umat Islam benci Israel tetapi mereka keliru tentang apa yang mereka mahukan sebagai pengubat kebencian itu. Mereka tidak mahu rakyat Palestin dibunuh tetapi mereka mahu Israel hancur. Apa kita fikir Yahudi mahu buat selamba bila kita jentik mereka?

Ya, Israel memang pakar berlebih-lebihan. Sebutir roket Hamas meletup di ladang zaitun milik peneroka Yahudi, Israel akan balas dengan serangan udara, meriam dan kereta kebal. Seorang Yahudi maut, seratus Palestin hilang nyawa.

Itu tidak betul. Tetapi tindakan Hamas menembak roket ketika pelan damai sedang diusahakan juga tidak betul. Apa lagi bila Hamas terang-terang menyebut asas penubuhan mereka ialah ‘untuk memusnahkan Israel’, percaya bahawa ‘pelan damai tidak membawa apa-apa kebaikan’ dan ‘tidak percaya bahawa mereka boleh hidup bersama-sama musuh mereka’.

Lalu Hamas menjolok sarang tebuan dan terkena sengatnya.

Murtad Zionis-lah Yahudi di Israel jika mereka masih berdiam diri mengenai Hamas di Gaza.

Maka apakah kesimpulannya dari krisis atau pembunuhan yang berlaku di Gaza ini? You reap what you sow. Masalahnya orang awam yang tidak bersalah terpaksa membayar harga semua ini dengan nyawa mereka.

Bagi aku, biarpun ada elemen keagamaan dalam konflik ini (sehingga umat Islam kebanyakannya terbawa-bawa dengan semangat jihad mereka), realiti yang pahit ialah ianya bertitik-tolak tidak lebih dari sekadar permainan politik yang memualkan. Hamas mungkin mendakwa mereka memperjuangkan Islam tetapi apakah yang Islamiknya bila mereka mengeksploitasi tempat-tempat awam untuk faedah ketenteraan mereka, melakukan pembunuhan dan keganasan tanpa diskriminasi dan lebih hina lagi membunuh sesama saudara Islam hanya kerana mereka tidak sehaluan (konflik antara Hamas dan Fatah).

Tiada kesucian dalam krisis yang berlaku di Gaza ini. Kita diromantikkan dengan perjuangan jihad membela Islam. Hakikat yang sebenar ialah ia hanya eksploitasi nyawa orang awam demi kepentingan politik masing-masing.

Penatlah nak fikir title post. Tiap2 kali pun perlu ada title. Aku rase column untok title ni buat aku rase depressed. Pressured gile ok.

2009-01-07T21:00:00.005+11:00

Kata2 semangat yang sungguh lame tapi betul:

The good thing about falling down is that u can always build up the strength to stand up again.

Orang lain mungkin rasa cheesy, tapi kata2 yang sungguh bosan untuk dibaca ni bagi aku sangat inspirational. Sebab aku selalu jatuh.

You should know that I will never go on without you.

2009-01-06T02:29:00.003+11:00

Ironik sungguh bila kita menghubungi ibu dengan harapan rasa rindu semakin menyusut, tapi semakin menjuih2 pula rasa itu bila butang 'hang up' itu ditekan.

Hebat sungguh kuasa suara si wanita itu,
yang mana kedengaran sahaja di telinga,
rasa susah, resah gelisah, kusut masai segala bagai ditiup2 disuruh pergi.

Tidak perlu heroin ganja semua.
Bunyi melodi seorang ibu itu lebih dadah dari segala dadah.

Menyebabkan ketagihan aku ini tidak pernah ada putusnya.

Orang kata kita takkan belajar jika tidak melakukan kesilapan, tapi kalau dah tak buat silap, buat ape nak belajar?

2009-01-05T00:04:00.008+11:00

Harapan aku untuk 2009:

1) Dapat mengawal nafsu berbelanja yang pada masa kini telah menyusahkan hidup aku dan telah membawa aku ke lembah kemiskinan (macamana nak hidup dengan $100 sampai februari ni?? macamaneeee??)

2) Menjadi lebih religious dari segi segala-galanya. Sejak datang ke negara orang putih ini, banyak kesilapan yang aku lakukan. Ada yang aku telah hentikan, ada yang masih berterusan. Tapi kesilapan semua ini membuat aku lebih mengenali agamaku. Aku harap aku mampu mencapai harapan yang ini.

3) Mendapatkan kerja supaya kalau nombor satu tak berjaya, harapan ketiga yang tercapai ini boleh membendung kegagalan mencapai nombor satu. Oh encik2 bos serata Sydney, aku bukannya demanding sangat. Aku cuma perlu kerja yang membenarkan aku surf internet di dalam bilik berhawa dingin dengan gaji lumayan dan rehat setiap satu jam je. Eh. Hmm. Ok fineeee. Aku hanya mahu rezeki halal. Boleh tak? Boleh la...pleaseeeee.

4) Pergi ke Coldplay concert, have a hell lot of fun dan menggoda Chris Martin untuk tidur....di dalam rumah aku. Mungkin di hotel jugak boleh. Muahahahahaha!!! (bayangkan muka watak jahat dlm rancangan di tv setiap kali mereka mempunyai rancangan atau idea yang bernas...macam tu lah muka aku skarang - eh, harapan yang ini macam clash dengan harapan nombor 2..huhu)

5) Menurunkan berat badan dengan jayanya. (Guna font yang kecik supaya kalaw tak tercapai takde lah malu sangat...) Harapan aku yang ini boleh mempengaruhi harapan nombor 4.

6) Menguruskan Oaktree Foundation dengan jayanya, walaupun kemahiran bersocial aku adalah terlampau rendah. Tanggungjawap yang aku ada untuk organisation yang ini memang terlampau berat. Tak tau macamana nak pikul ni.

7) Mendapatkan lebih banyak Distincton atau kalau boleh High Distinction dalam subjek2 yang diambil. Buang sikap remaja Melayu yang memegang konsep 'asal lulus sudehhhh...'. Harus bekerja lebih keras. Aku rasa kehadiran Iner (atau nama manjanya GeeKerina) dalam kehidupan seharian boleh membantu aku mencapai tujuan yang ini.

8) Mebuat trip2 pelancongan yang kebabom dengan bajet yang paling minimum. Kejayaan aku mencapai nombor 1 dan 3 boleh mempengaruhi kejayaan harapan yang ini.

9)Menjadi seorang yang lebih pembersih. Dengan kata lain, vakum bilik sekali seminggu, mengemas rak sebersih-bersihnya dan mengemas katil setiap kali bangun dari tidur. Elakkan memotong sayur dan cili di depan laptop ketika menonton movies. Tak senonoh betul.

10) Menulis blog yang menarik supaya tidak membosankan sesiapa yang membaca seperti apa yang aku buat sekarang. Sungguh tak produktif. Dan tak educational.

Kesimpulannya, aku tak sanggup nak menghadapi semester yang akan datang ni...aku nak cuti selama-lamanyaaaaaa.. (Kesimpulan tidak relevan langsung dengan post kali ini. Nampaknya jauh lagi perjalanan untuk mencapai nombor 10). Huhu.

Beautiful women are hard to find.

2009-01-01T22:12:00.006+11:00

Kata2 seorang kawan (yang aku susun kembali perkataannya) yang terus berlegar2 dalam minda kacau aku :

Perempuan, sekali hilang harga dirinya, susah betul mahu cari kembali.

Banyak adjektif yang boleh mengolah wanita.
Jika kau tanya aku, akan aku gambarkan bahawa kejadian Tuhan itu cantik, elegan, unik, halus, abstrak, menarik, memukau, indah, lembut, misteri, merdu, menawan, berirama, suci, menyenangkan, comel, mempesona, bersih, tenang, tulus, bermaruah.

Namun harus berhati-hati, sekali kehilangan yang terakhir itu, terhapus keindahannya yang segala-gala.

Lampu penyuluh dan bateri Energiser memang bagus.

2008-12-31T02:57:00.003+11:00

Aku mahu menulis, tapi ada writer's block.
Sudah banyak kali mencuba, gagal juga.
Mungkin kerana fikiran aku ini pusing2 ke arah yang sama juga.
Cuti, otak ini sedang berhibernasi agaknya.

Cuma aku nak menulis juga,
baru2 ni aku telah buat satu keputusan yang membuatkan aku bangga dengan diri sendiri.
Godaan itu datang bertubi2, berkali2 juga aku berkompromi dengan limitasi aku.
Tapi seperti selalu, bila ada kegelapan yang memanggil, pasti ada cahaya yang Dia hantarkan supaya aku berundur kembali ke permulaan, untuk mengulangi pemilihan.
Dan kali ini, cahaya yang dihantar itu terlalu terang untuk diabaikan.
Oh diri, kau layak mendapat pat on the back, kerana desperation tidak cukup kuat bertindak sebagai penggoda untuk kau gadaikan apa yang kau pegang.

Ya Tuhan, aku pinta jangan Kau hentikan petunjuk yang selalu Kau berikan.
Kerana hambaMu ini selalu terperangkap dalam kebingungan.

Oh the hardest part was letting go not taking part.

2008-12-21T17:50:00.004+11:00

I'm so mad with this Satriani suing Coldplay for plagiarism. I've been followng this case quite a while now, and I'm nervous waiting for this case to be in court. Obviously, I'm on the quartet's side.

Let's admit it, Coldplay is not the most original band in this whole wide world. People claim that they sound like Radiohead, some say that their songs are total rip offs, others claim that they are U2 wannabes. But amazingly, this has never saddened them. For them, they are all true, what people say. Radiohead and U2 has been one of their biggest influence in music. Everytime they produce an album, they will always say that they've listened to this artist or this album and has been inspired by those. And they have never been secretive about that. So I am very sure that if they ever copied Satriani's, they would have admitted it long ago.

I have read a few lawyers' opinion about this case, and from what I read, Coldplay can be found guilty even though if the similarities of the two songs are totally accidental. This is because Mr Satriani has owned the copyright of his song long before Viva La Vida, so where the oldplay song came from doesnt seem to make any difference.

From what i can gather, I think that this law is totally unfair. What if it is true that Coldplay has never had the intention to copy If I Could Fly by Mr Satriani? What if it's totally coincident? If Coldplay lose and had to pay to Joe Satriani, is that not being punished for the crime that they did not commit?

All of these has got me thinking; is judiciary system all over the world is really about justice? How many people has been found guilty for the crimes that they did not do? How many has been the victim of the court which was created by human intended to reveal the truth but ended up punishing the wrong person? Or was it created just so that if something happened, in the end, people like you and me will always have someone to blame so that we can continue feeling good about ourselves?

Imagine someone was found gulty for killing when the truth was he was innocent. Imagine that he's a married man with kids and a mother. What will happen to all of the kids and the wives? Is it fair to bring out the tears of a mother for an innocent son who happened to just suddenly be 'unlucky'?

When I was small, this is one of the things that has always made me scared to grow up. To be found guilty of a serious crime that I do not commit. To have to carry the burden and punishment that I do not deserve. Just by maybe being at the wrong place, my life can totally change into a lifetime nightmare.

Yes, when I was small, I've always thought that the adult's worlds are extreme and scary filled by millions of horrible things.
And now, I'm in one.

Oh my god.

2008-12-13T21:49:00.002+11:00

I'm in Brisbane now. Oh my, hearing things is definitely different from experiencing and seeing things for yourself.

I'll write all about this excellent holiday later, but may i just say that coming here makes me realize a lot of things, including the fact that some people just changed too much u can just suffocate trying to cope with it.

Oh my.

Sweet oh luscious life.

2008-12-02T11:23:00.004+11:00

Yesterday i was talking about a long lost best friend with a friend of mine that got me thinking. Why was the friendship lost? I had many cases of losing good friendships. Was it because we finally decided to go separate ways? Was it because we had enough of each other that it was time to move on? Was it because we have both changed? Or had it all been me all this while?

Well most of the time I blame myself. For being too selfish most of the times. For being lame and flat all the time. For not being able to change myself and follow others. For not being able to accept a friend's new friend. For hurting them too much with most of my killing words. For not being able to give back all the unconditional love they poured me. For mostly not caring enough.

From time to time this thought will suddenly haunt me. Mostly when those recognizable names being brought up. I have to admit it. I love every friendship that had came in knocking on my life door. Those were beautiful. And if it's possible, i would just love to erase any bad memories of me in my friends' mind. Sweep out all the memories of us not being close anymore. Just let the best memories of me stay lingering on the top of their head. In that way, I can still be friend with all of you. Best friend.

I'm wondering, do u miss me like I miss you?

Hitam itu menawan.

2008-11-29T10:48:00.007+11:00

I want:

this

this

this

and this

because i'm looking for a black/dark grey dress now.

but but buttttttttttt i also want this

and this

All by Dorothy Perkins, with my size available for every dress.

Why are all the good things in the world expensive? Whyyyyyyy??

Di suatu malam yang bersejarah.

2008-11-28T20:23:00.002+11:00

Iner : Ha Diana jumpe James dengan Mahesh...eh, Mahesh? Eh bukan2! Amit! James dengan Amit lah...
Farizah chomel (aku) : Kenape boleh keluar Mahesh pulak ni? (Mahesh Ling216 lecturer)
Iner : Tak tau lah, I asik teringat Mahesh je ni...

Discuss.

My heart pounds as fast as the speed of sound.

2008-11-27T17:50:00.007+11:00

Jantung berdegup tak berhenti. Kata-kata dalam hati 'Ok, tak apa, siket lagi.'
Tangan tak berhenti2 memicit2. Hati meminta-minta supaya apa yang dirancang menjadi.
Tepat pukul 9pagi, jantung semakin kencang berdegup. 'Ish, kenapa lambat sangat bergerak ni?' tergetus dalam hati. Jari dah mula menggigil-gigil. Anak mata hanya memfokus pada satu arah, walaupun sudah beberapa hari tidak cukup tido memikirkan hal yang ini.
Please lah, aku perlu lakukan ini, perlu!
Tiba-tiba:

Your ticket details are as followed:

Event: Coldplay: "Viva La Vida" Australian Tour
Date: Wed 11 Mar 2009 7:15PM
Venue: Acer Arena
Corner Edwin Flack Avenue and Olympic Boulevard
Sydney Olympic Park NSW 2127
Area:
Section: SFLOOR
Row: -
Seats: -
Price Category: gold g.a. standing

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....
Terus terdengar bunyi burung berkicauan mencari pasangan, ombak yang tidak putus-putus menghempas batu-batu di pantai, bunyi daun-daun ditiup angin lembut, bunyi air terjun yang sejuk menyegarkan, bunyi anak-anak kecil ketawa bermain bersama kawan-kawannya. oh, sungguh indah...........

Tapi sebenarnya,
rasa macam nak menjerit, tapi dalam perpustakaan pulak. Damn.

Oh and did i mention that i was the fourth person to enter Macq library today? haha...
Yeah, that's how big Coldplay's impact on me.

Kenape perlu membunoh diri?

2008-11-25T13:22:00.006+11:00

1) Exam ling 253 lusa diikuti dengan ling 216 on 1st december.

2) Laptop crash. Laptop yang vintage gile (euphemism..padehal classic...eh, still euphemism ke? ok lah fine, dah tua kerepot) dan menjadi tempat meluahkan kasih sayang dh rosak. Apebende tah problem dea. Penyakit tua lah kot?

3) Perlu tulis essay untok exam. Walaopon hanye 1000words, tapi bile words yang dah ditulis baru 70, terase sangat jaoh lagy perjalanan.

4) Kekurangan duit. Duit allowance semakin manyurut. Tidak seperti orang laen, i dont have a helpline to call dan merungut takde duet lantas seminggu selepas tu duit dalam bank bertambah.

5) Rambot serabai terok gile cheapskate. Kenape cheapskate? yaaaaa...kerana aku baru je potong rambot sendiri sebab nak save duet. Nampaknye tak terlampao berjaye jadi kene potong dekat kedai jugak nampaknye.

COUNTERARGUMENTS (Kenape tak perlu bunuh diri?)

1) Baru sahaje membeli Coldplay's new EP, Prospekt's March. Lagu2 yang boleh mengangkat aku ke langit, ataupun without hiperbole, boleh membuat aku menyanyi kuat2 sambel tersenyum terangkat bulu................. roma (i know u're thinking something else u dirty minded ppl!) dan memanggil2 Claudia untok turon marah sebab biseng.

2) Mard pinjamkan laptop beliau yang precious kepada hamba Allah yang memerlukan ni..oh tengs bebeh.

3) Lepas exam habis, akan bertolak ke Gold Coast. Walaupun misken, namun dapat juga berjalan2. Tapi jalan2 ala org misken la nanti..huahua.

4) Sebab Chris Martin terlampao hensem (ape kene mengene?) hahaha. Kalau ade rase nak bunoh diri, sile tgk muke Chris Martin. Nescaye rase mcm nak hidup untuk menatap wajah yang gojes itu.

5) Ok, this is the orgasmic one.....COLDPLAY IS COMING TO AUSTRALIA!!!!!!!!! Tiket akan jual pagi sebelom paper 253. walaopon hanyelah 20minutes before the paper, i dont care. Akanku berusaha dengan setiap titik peluh yang ada untok mendapatkan tiket. Siap laaaaa!!!!

Ok, disebabkan counterarguments sangat bagus dan convincing (ceh alasan), tak jadi bunoh diri.

Cuba lah sekuat mana pun.

2008-11-20T16:52:00.001+11:00

Tetap akan dianggap sebagai outsiders.
Biasalah, orang baik takkanlah nak bergaul rapat2 dengan orang jahat kan?

Jadi sebagai orang jahat, aku dah penat.

Mata judgemental kau tu perlu di bleach kan

2008-11-20T16:42:00.003+11:00

Kau pandang kami macam apa yang kami cakap tu terlampau jahat.

Jadi kau lah yang berhati paling mulia?
Sungguh mulia sehingga kau mengutuk kawan kau dari kumpulan kau sendiri di depan kami (ya, kau kan ada kumpulan sendiri, kumpulan baik hati kan?)?
Sungguh mulia sehingga kau mengutuk kawan kami di depan kami?
Annoying lah, menyampah lah.
Hey tolonglah, cara kau bercakap buat orang nak muntah, dengan accent kau yang hebat betul, macam mat saleh berkulit gelap yang renek kau tahu?

Setiap kali kau memberikan mata judgemental kau tu, hati kami pun terus menjadi judgemental kepada kau.
Kalaw kau tak rasa apa yang kami rasa, jangan pandai2 nak menilai apa yang kami lakukan.

Dan ingat, orang membenci kau lebih banyak daripada kau membenci orang lain.

"Terrified, mortified, petrified, stupified by you." John Nash.

2008-11-12T18:31:00.003+11:00

I have just finished watching A Beautiful Mind. Easily one of the best movies I've ever watched. And I think this movie is worth my first movie review, and pardon my unconventional way of reviewing; I've never done this before.

A Beautiful mind is an adaptation story about a Nobel Prize Winner Mathematician, John Nash (Russel Crowe) who was too afraid to lose. He thought that he has something special in him; that he's a genius. Later that he knows that he's delusional.

I love Russel Crowe in this movie. I've seen his movies before, but none of those that i can recall. But this one, it really touches every inch of my heart. I love the way he embraces this character and make it his. I like the way he talks like a weird genius, the transition of the look in his eyes when he's solving Mathematical problems to the way he looks his wife, the way he looks down everytime he talks to people, the way he smiles, the way he talks and hold his bags, in fact, I like the way he does everything in this movie. Everything that he does connects really well, and not one time while i was watching that I look at him as Russel Crowe acting on the screen of my old Acer notebook, I felt that I was watching the real John Nash, though I do not know the history of the real John Nash the Nobel Prize winner.

I think what makes this movie is so great (besides Mr Crowe's magnificent performance) is the themes that was portrayed. Of course it portrays the struggle of a genius trying to fight his delusion and face the society, but it also shows how Nash's wife, Alicia (Jennifer Connely) stays with her husband to fight the sickness with him. She was very strong, but vulnerable too. She was smart and was always supportive and hopeful.

Also, I always like Paul Bettany's appearance in this movie. I have watched him in Wembledon and Da Vincci Code and have turned to like him, but i like him even more in this movie. He played his role as John's illusion friend excellently as someone who is crazy, laidback yet a bit pushy when he tried to convince John.

All in all, i think this movie deserves an easy 4.5 stars from me. Well done Ron Howard.